10 Absolutes in Dementia Care list

ButterflyWings

Recently shared by another member here. Thanks @Chug

10 Absolutes in Dementia Care.png

H1235

Thank you this is much better image that what I have been sharing.

Iris L.

Thanks for posting!

Nya

I am so grateful for this list. Our situation has just now gotten to the point where my husband is unable to retain any new information, so he asks me to tell him the same thing all day long. I have always been a patient person, but it has become more than I can take without losing my temper. I don't want to hurt him. So this list will redirect ME so maybe it will ease his anxiety as I redirect and divert his attention to something else.

I am also at a crossroad in deciding if we would do better in an independent living facility.

trinh tonnu

Thank you very much for this. I’m a new care giver for my Mom who is living w Alzheimer’s/ Dementia. I am suffer , try to learn how to deal w her dementia.

H1235

My brother found this list confusing. He saw it as letting mom do whatever she wanted because we weren’t supposed to argue with her. I don’t think that is the case. Don’t argue or try to reason does not mean the person with dementia is always right. There are obviously times when it just doesn’t matter ( they think the grass is blue) that you just agree and let it go. But when it comes to something that could be harmful for them, I think it means let them think they are right. If a lo with dementia shouldn’t be going up and down steps because it’s dangerous, don’t try to argue and reason with them about how their balance is off and they may fall. Tell them you are going down stairs to get something anyway and will get what they need. It’s about using workarounds and sometimes even fibs to avoid the argument. Sometimes this is easier said than done.

ilovemusic

Nya ~ I’m also considering independent living! What did you decide?

Joyful Heart

This is where I am today. I'm just now reading people's helpful posts on this site and see how my behavior in response to my DH is causing things to be so much worse. My DH is mid to late stage 5 which I assessed myself given no official diagnosis. We made the decision long ago to forego conventional, allopathic medical treatment for anything so all I can do is guess.

I've had friends tell me I need to just understand that he can't remember things I tell him, no matter how simple and that I just need to take care of things myself. I've struggled with people telling me this as I myself have been disabled for 12 years, very ill these last several months, have become so sensitive to the frequencies in our environment that I'm struggling to be inside my own home, let alone trying to figure out a way to leave here for errands or shopping, etc. And I think I have uterine cancer. So I can't seem to wrap my mind around how I'm going to get my husband and myself to any sort of safe place for ongoing living and I'm not sure where to go from here. The Calvary is definitely not coming for either of us. That was my first read on this site and it was an important but bitter pill to swallow.

I need to continue to read posts on this site to help me come to grips with what we're facing and to hopefully redirect my thinking to be more productive and helpful to our situation. Because, though I have every reason to wallow in self-pity for what my husband and I are up against, that wallowing will destroy what's left of our lives. So, right now, I'm looking for those proverbial boot-straps. I'm going to need them.

Deepsea

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/247768#Comment_247768

That’s such a big step, and I can completely understand why you’re considering it. Independent living can offer a lot—peace of mind, community support, and just a break from the daily pressures that can build up when caregiving.

If your DH’s needs are starting to become overwhelming, or if you’re finding yourself running on empty, I would truly recommend looking more into independent or assisted living options. Even just having access to support services while still maintaining your own space and freedom can make a world of difference. Your well-being matters too. You’re not alone in this.

Have you looked into any specific places yet, or are you still exploring?