Driving concerns

forthelove

my DH was diagnosed with mild to moderate cognitive impairment. He has been taking Aricept for about a month. We recently went on vacation and his driving was erratic. He had to stop very quickly many times because he didn’t realize cars were stopped or braking. He also turned around to talk to the backseat people for way too long in traffic. I’m wondering if this is a sign of dementia progressing.

Sunnyside42

When my DH was diagnosed a couple years in a row with mild cognitive impairment, then moderate, he was still able to manage his life and driving to his volunteer work 3 times a week. There were a few incidents when he called me and said he wasn’t sure how to get home (he was just blocks away and I was able to talk him through it). Even when he was finally diagnosed with Alzheimers (they called it “a major cognitive” something, but did not use the word “alzheimers”, and this news was delivered over the phone, so there wasn’t a long discussion about it. They referred me to a local resource center etc but I was confused because I still didn’t understand what it meant. And even when it finally dawned on me that Alzheimers was its name, I was naive enough to think it was still okay from him to drive because mostly he did fine. I shudder to think what tragedy could have happened due to my naiivete. Finally he did get lost and picked up someone on the road to help him home. Turned out it was a decent fellow, but that was IT! The last time he drove. I was fortunate that he gave it up willingly because he realized he could not trust himself. He still volunteers but gets rides from other volunteers. I believe he is doing as well as he is because he has the physical outlet of gardening and the social contact with people he has worked with for 17 years, and they are kind and understanding. So, Bottom Line is they should not be driving even if most of the time they seem mostly capable.

Rick4407

I suspect losing driving is the most difficult thing in this journey. The issue is very complicated. If there is any accident, even a fender bender, what will your LO be able to tell the investigating officer? If it is more serious, there will potentially be liabilities that insurance may not cover. My lawyer friend put it simply "What will you say on the witness stand?" Others may offer excuses to tell your LO. Rick

Iris L.

If you see that his driving is erratic, he should not be driving. Don't wait for a tragedy.

Iris

Gig Harbor

He has to stop driving now. It will be hard on both of you. My husband was always concerned about finances so I told him that one accident could bankrupt us. He didn’t seem to worry about hurting someone but he did worry about going broke. Luckily his license expired and I told him that the renewal was an online process knowing full well he couldn’t do it. I also told him that I would be happy to drive him anywhere and stressed how he could look at the scenery that he could never look at when he drove. Be sure you keep the car keys hidden.

ButterflyWings

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69342/driving-concerns

Umm… progression or not…this is a sign he should not be driving. Several signs. Please reread your post. Very, very unsafe. Just disappear the keys, garage door opener, car, etc. like yesterday. Then figure out how to discuss if you must, or like me - fiblets or just feign ignorance. Dementia requires us to change how we think and relate to our ill LOs. Aricept will not stop progression and will not prevent him from a horrible accident.

Yes, it can be hard to do, intervening whether you tell him or not, but you must stop the driving immediately. Driving (and finances) is one of the main topics where we struggle to learn we can no longer discuss and negotiate with our PWD LOs. They may have anosognosia - like mine does, which is zero awareness that they are impaired. So, both DH and his mechanic and some family members thought he just was a little forgetful and might get lost, but did not understand that he could kill someone or himself very easily in the blink of an eye.

You are getting lots of clear evidence that it is urgent to stop it right away. I'm sorry but very glad you are having the right instincts to ask about this, here. Please listen to the members. Been there, done that.

JJ401

Echoing the it’s time for him to stop him driving advice. It’s no longer safe for him to be driving.

Figuring how to do that is another matter. How you manage that is entirely dependent on your circumstances. In my case, DH’s car was old and it was time for state inspection. We use a local mechanic and I talked to him in advance. He told DH the car needed a lot of repair and it was not worth repairing. The mechanic then remarked that, since we were both retired, we could easily get by with just one car. It worked. Car gone. He now rides as a passenger in mine.

It’s hard. Hard for him to give up driving. Hard for you to both figure out a way for him to stop and to now have to do all the driving. It’s hard, but it’s necessary.

trottingalong

Yes, it’s a blaring sign of dementia. I’m always bothered when experts say the first signs of dementia can be getting lost driving. No. There are clearly MANY signs long before they get lost. The brain is impaired and not working correctly. Reactions are already slower as we age, but with dementia it can be ten fold. He should not be driving. I think it’s one of the hardest things for both the caregiver and the person suffering with alz to give up. For us it can add one more thing on our list of to dos. Your safety and the safety of others is paramount. There are many threads on driving. Some of us are lucky enough that our LO wasn’t too bothered by not driving. For others, it’s a difficult journey. I wish you the best. You came to the right place for help and advice.

ronda b

My DH has finally stop driving. Got lost so many times. As I said before,I had tell him it was a liability issue.

I'm wandering now if I should have time taken off the insurance policy.

concerned_sister

I would take him off when his license is revoked.

Kibbee

Some insurance companies provide better rates when there are two people on the policy. Mine does and my agent said just leave DH on the policy. I don’t have to worry about him driving because his mobility issues mean he cannot physically get to the car.

SDianeL

after my DH was tested, the Neuro Psychologist said that under no circumstances should he be driving. She said once it's in his medical records and he were to be involved in an accident, whether it was his fault or not, we could be sued and lose everything. That he could run in the back of someone or run over someone and kill them. It was a gut punch for me. I had no idea. She said he had visuospatial difficulties and couldn't determine speed, distance, time, etc. It then hit me that he had been driving very slowly for awhile. The next day I sat my DH down and told him what the doctor said. That it wasn't safe for him to drive. He was upset but the next day he brought me his keys and never drove again. It broke my heart the look on his face but it had to be done. Fib if you must but get those keys or disable the vehicle.

M1

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