Mood cycles

ColleenN1107

Hi everyone I am new here. I have been taking care of my mom by myself now for several years. She showed slight memory issues, as we all do, before the Covid outbreak, but when the world shutdown and me being in Healthcare, I wasn't visiting much, and she didn't have much outside the house activities. This is when the decline started. Fast forward to now, she will go many weeks where everything is going good, then all of a sudden I can do nothing right. Is this something that you all have experienced, or should I consider myself lucky that there are good weeks? It's super hard for me to not react at times, and take it personal, especially since I know how much I am doing for her, and get no help from my sibling who lives out of town, bever offers to come to town to give me a break, so I could possibly have a vacation or just time to be with my husband, knowing she is being taken care of. Sorry for the long rant, I just need to vent to people that understand my feelings. Thanks 😊

jackmaron419

Your not alone, I am new to this as well and I guess we have to not take it personal because it's the disease. Yes we are human and it hurts, but we must remember it's the disease. Yes breaks sounds good, have you applied for the grant?

mabelgirl

hi Colleen. I also am sole care taker of my mom, but all be it if I need it one of my sisters will take her for a day or two. They say they can't take her more than that. I’m like really? it’s 24x7 for me but oh well we all have our limits. You need breaks for certain maybe try day care for her. My mom went one day loved it but then wouldn’t go again. She definitely goes through cycles of peace and then has really bad days. Have you contacted area agency on aging for assistance? For me, my mom generally starts every morning with the accusations of stealing her money from the bank. Then some days it’s just that(that’s what I call the peaceful day) other bad days it’s pretty non stop rant about my lying stealing wanting all her treasures for myself, etc … She gets very mean and nasty with me on the bad days. The only silver lining in it is that she gets exercise coming up and down stairs to berate me 😏otherwise she will just stay in her bedroom.

I’ve built up some resilience to it but worry I’m losing my compassion for her. It’s very hard to keep blaming her words on the disease sometimes. I’m in the process of getting her in AL as I think it’s best for both of us. Hopefully she’ll be forced to socialize and do more than stay in her room. For me, it just removes the target from my back. Prayers you get strength you’ll need.

Arrowhead

There are cycles to this disease. My wife would go through cycles of being passionate and then not wanting me to touch her. Most of the time she didn't know we were married, but then times would come that she did. She would go through cycles of anger and then not getting angry about anything. One of the best things to keep in mind is that there will be constant changes and that you need to find a way to cope with all of them.

ColleenN1107

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210927#Comment_210927

Thanks...I do my best to not take it personal, but certain days it's harder than others. I'm not aware of a grant.