I’m going nuts

Hope5757

Do any members experience wild swings in day to day health and cognition of their LOs?

One day, MIL acts like she’s about to die. She’s sleeping 18 hours, largely incoherent, confused as to day, time, etc, not eating much and seems to be in pain.

Then the next day, she wakes up and she’s almost normal. Alert, good appetite, making jokes and watching television with us.

Can this be attributed strictly to a change in routine? We’ve had more than the normal number of visitors the last few days due to starting hospice. But, she hasn’t had to do anything other than sit.

Does the mere act of sitting there cause this degree of stress and effort?

I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t seem to find a routine for my day to day efforts. Everything feels so reactive.

Iris L.

PWDs react poorly to changes in routine. Yes, keep to a routine as much as possible.

Iris

H1235

It’s not just sitting, its the effort she puts into conversation or even trying to follow it or understand the conversation. If conversation involves more than one person, is moving too quickly, or is about things she doesn’t understand it can be confusing and stressful. Finding the right words to carry on a conversation can be difficult. I think mental stresses can cause tiredness. Good luck.

Hope5757

Thank you @Iris L. and @Chug. I’ll work on understanding and compassion.

JeriLynn66

Hope, after the initial flurry of activities associated with the process of onboarding with Hospice, things should settle down with a routine. Yet, they are always only a phone call away should you need them. Hugs to you today. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

dancsfo

I'm speculating here, but there may be some physiological reasons, such as arthritis inflammation, UTI or something else. Any vitals measured, such as temperature, may give you some indicators. So perhaps the hospice staff noticed something. But the change in routine is also a good potential reason.

ButterflyWings

Has she been checked for a UTI? They are called "silent UTIs" with PWDs as there are no typical symptoms like fever, painful urination etc. Just sudden erratic (negative) behavior. DH has had a few and I would never have known what was happening if not for this forum.

And I agree just the change in routine, having lots of people in her midst, conversations etc can throw them off. DH can get exhausted by a difficult bowel movement these days. And for several stages he definitely has retreated after trying to process conversations around him. Or to avoid overstimulating situations altogether. Now, if anything is asked of him directly (he has agnosia and can't really converse, so sometimes he sleeps or closes his eyes and just listens when there is lots of noise with multiple conversations or activity around.