new to this group...

Timmyd

Hi,
 I am new to this group.  I first noticed something was off with my DW in
early 2019.  After lots of reluctance and denial, we got a EO ALZ
diagnosis in late 2021.   Right now, I am 57 she is 59.  I would
estimate we are in the middle of stage 5.  Fortunately my DW mostly
remains pleasant and cooperative throughout.  She did not object when
asked to give up driving.   She knows when to ask for help.  Until
recently, it has not generally been a problem to leave her unattended at
home for an hour or two.  I have a job that allows me to work from
home. We are both otherwise in good health. Financially we are rather
stable (for now).   Compared to most in my situation, I felt I had so
much to be grateful for.  

The hardest part....
I work really hard to have a good attitude, to adjust to our new normal, 
to convince myself that "things are not THAT bad....".   Once I find
myself in that spot, my reward is decline.  I again get to figure out
another  new normal and try to get back to the place were things are not
THAT bad...

Right now we are visiting family out of state.  We have been doing this
regularly for many years, and it has been mostly manageable.  This time
feels different.  I just wish we were  home, with fewer distractions and
back to a more simple daily routine.  Until recently, I felt I have
been generally successful in protecting her dignity in social
situations.  I think those days are pretty much gone now.  That part is
so sad.  We are invited to family gatherings, everyone is so well
meaning, but I no longer see the point of it.  It is too distracting and
I don't want these extended relatives to have to remember her like
this.

I am coming to the realization that it just me and her.  This is
empowering.   I remain pleasant, and appreciate their input,  but I am
the decider.  It has taken a while to get here.    There are good days
and bad days.  On the good days I try to take time to recognize and
appreciate it.  On the bad days, I just try to get through it and know
there is a good day sometime in the future. 🙂

midge333

Welcome to the group. Sorry you have to join us but I think you will find everyone very helpful and supportive. My DW is transitioning from stage 5 to 6 and I totally understand what you are saying regarding visiting family. I am done traveling with my DW. I am glad we did a bunch of traveling when she was in earlier stages.

trottingalong

that was a wonderful first post. I feel I’m in a very similar place with my husband. Wishing you the best. I hope you continue to post.