Incontinence Venting

Jeanne C.

Here's the thing. An incident of urinary incontinence isn't a huge deal. I can handle the diapers and cleanup. Most days.

Last night and this morning were rough though.

At his aide's suggestion, I brought in the briefs with tabs (we had been using pull ups). She has no problem using them (quick stand-up change, doesn't even need to fully remove his sweats). I, however, have no idea what I'm doing. Add in him pushing my hands away and removing the brief as quickly as I can try to get it on, and it's not going well. Last night I literally broke a sweat trying to get him in the brief before I gave up and put a pull up on him. So I changed him and the washable chuck at 4 am. Then at 8 (while he was dry) I tried to get him to the bathroom. He resisted getting up and then, of course, peed so I had to change him and the bedding bc he missed the chuck (how does he get so much urine outside of the pull up!?!?).

Anyway. I'll gladly take any advice on using the tabbed briefs. Or suggestions on how to not lose my cool when dealing with pee. Or just some empathy (or chocolate).

Thanks for letting me rant.

harshedbuzz

You poor thing.

Have the aide show you how to do this. There are tricks to doing it. One thing many suggest is giving your PWD something to hold to keep his hands occupied. Make it something like a stuffie or pillow in case you get swatted with it.

HB

Kibbee

I tried the tab briefs for DH and could not get the hang of them…for me the pull-ups were easier. If pull-ups are easier for you to manage then continue to use them. If the aide prefers tabbed briefs, keep some on hand for her to use when she is doing changes.

Regarding urine going everywhere if the LO pees during an underwear change…I feel your pain! I keep old towels handy and put one over DH’s bits & bobs until the underwear change is completed. (I do DH’s changes while he is lying down, not sure if the towel thing would work for a person who is standing while changes are taking place.)

DH also can sometimes get his hands in the way. I know he thinks he is helping but he’s just making it more difficult for me. I like the advice about giving them something to hold, and think I will try that.

Jeanne C.

Thank you, @harshedbuzz - I had him hold some socks tonight and it kept him distracted while I got it on him.

@Kibbee the bigger issue is that the pull ups leak. Honestly not sure if it's an issue of volume or position. We're trying the tabbed briefs because they are supposed to be more absorbent. We'll see. I'm just hoping to not have to change the sheets in the middle of every night. 🤞

ButterflyWings

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/211342#Comment_211342

In the same boat here. DH readjusts the tabbed ones in his sleep and it is waterworks everywhere. So I only use those when he is bedridden and can’t support his own weight.

The pull-ups work out better for us but do not hold much. The extra pad insert has been a lifesaver. It is like a giant absorbent liner pad with an adhesive strip that adheres to the inside of the pull-up. Holds a LOT of volume. The pad can be changed quickly without needing to change the pull-up every time.

Position can still be a problem though. DH pulls an Al Bundy a few times a day. When I don’t hear the rustling and point things back where they should be, his clothes and the chux end up soaked. At least once a day I fail at that. Laundry r us.

Like you, I used to give him something to occupy his hands so we aren’t playing up & down tug of war with his wet clothing or the briefs, but now he’s as likely to start trying to eat whatever I put in his hands as a distraction, so things have gotten even more interesting!

We have to take a deep breath and keep a sense of humor.

Kibbee

I hear you about the pull-ups sometimes leaking because they cannot absorb all the urine being produced, particularly overnight. I add a women’s overnight pad in the back and since DH is a back sleeper that helps. But sometimes things go sideways (literally) and the urine goes to the left or right and since there is no padding on the sides, leaks occur. Seems like some brilliant designer of disposable underwear would add side pads. But for all I know such a design exists and I just have not discovered them yet.

PS…The Al Bundy comment made me laugh!

Jeanne C.

You all are really the best. Everything went well last night (knock wood) so I'll just keep plugging along. I still woke a few times to check, but I'm sure I'll be able to break that habit soon enough. He got up around 5, but after a change (where the chuck and sheets were bone dry!) He went back to sleep. 10:00 and he's still out. And I've been able to enjoy a nice, hot coffee this morning.

@ButterflyWings the Al Bundy comment made me snort-laugh.

ButterflyWings

The capacity is a big thing and also the fit. There used to be a post or two from Ed, with a recommended brand of high quality briefs. (Edit: *parentgiving.com and he also advised to double layer sheets with padding, etc. for quick changes. Just pull off the top layer of fitted sheet and padding when there is an accident, and the next layer is already there. Prevents remaking the bed in the middle of the night if your LO is still in a regular bed.)

And as for readjusting their parts and position causing waterworks everywhere, some members have resorted to a back-opening brand of clothing from Buck & Buck . I will see if I can find those links.

In the meantime, DH made me laugh out loud this morning as I was reaching into his pants to straighten things after he had been rearranging… As I *casually stuck my hand down his pants he said “Hey that’s mine! You’re gonna have to get your own!” 😂🤣

*Edited to add the links.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/147461#Comment_147461

https://www.buckandbuck.com/mens-adaptive/jumpsuits/sleepsuits.html

Jeanne C.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/211486#Comment_211486

Brilliant! 😂😂😂