Memory care wait list

Katcat

i had looked around for memory care for hubby awhile ago just to be prepared. The place I chose says can pay one thousand dollars to put him on waitlist. If I never use them I’ll get money back and if I use them the money will go towards their care.
I thought ideally I’d like him to stay home and get care inhome. However I’m beginning to change my mind. It’s so hard to see where this is all going. I mean I know this is a death sentence. Sorry to be gloomy But how bad he will get God knows. I don’t know what to do. Can I hear some thoughts please.

Dio

Being prepared is the best you can do. You wouldn't want to wait until an emergency to look for long-term memory care. $1,000 (and return if not used) is peanuts compared to what other facilities are charging. I placed DH a year ago and it was a life saver. Don't know where we'd both be now if I hadn't placed him. Just make sure you ask a lot of questions of the facility to be sure it meets your needs. Also, if they have a room and you're not ready, just pass until the next opening.

Beachfan

Ditto what Dio said. Some years ago, I was researching MCF’s for DH “just in case”. I put a $500.00 refundable deposit on a room in a MCF very near our home; it wasn’t my first choice, but apparently attractive enough to warrant a wait list. A room became available shortly thereafter, but I was not ready to place him yet and refused the offer. Eventually, I placed him, several years later, in a MCF 44 miles away, but solely devoted to Alz/dementia care and my first choice. It was the best decision for all involved. It’s all in the rear view mirror now; he passed after 17 months in MC. But at the time, it was mind boggling, confusing, and heart wrenching. Do whatever your heart and mind tell you; you can always change your plans. Best wishes.

Leesee

OMG! Thank You! I didn't even think about this as an option. As I read through our discussions every day, I just keep believing my DH is not quite ready for MC yet. I'm lucky to live in a large metropolitan area with many options available and I've been 'preparing' by keeping information saved in case I need it.

You've opened by eyes! I'm going to begin scheduling tours and find out if I can pay to be on the waiting list.

I learn from you everyday and cannot thank you enough!

White Crane

There aren't too many choices in our area for memory care but I visited the two we have and picked out the one I wanted him to go to when the time came. They did not have a waiting list but if they had I would have put him on it. Like Dio said, ask lots of questions. I made out a list of questions before touring each facility to make sure I didn't leave out anything.

Katcat

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/211417#Comment_211417

just clarifying the $1,000 is to be waitlisted. To stay there it’s thousands per month! Thanks for responding.

Katcat

Thanks. I figured why wait until I’m upset because the decline is so bad and can’t think straight. Wish you all the best.

Katcat

Thanks. I am so sorry for your loss. After reading all responses I will get waitlisted.

TyroneSlothrop

Katcat, I visited a dozen MC places in my city and nearby, starting 18 months ago. Now I have selected my preferred place, and in less than two weeks, DW will move in. It has been a long process, fraught with indecision and guilt; but I am worn out from being at home with her, and now I hope for a new set of worries that might be easier to handle.
Tyrone

Dio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/211440#Comment_211440

Oh, do I know about pricing?! Our facility charged $3,000 to be on wait list and would return it if no-go. But if decide to move in it's applied as the "community fee." ($3K is on the lower end of community fee for a midsize memory care facility.) Room and all inclusive care was one price $8,000/mo for a shared room and $13,000 for private. Optional was Incontinence Supply Fee, charged separately or free if you provide your own supplies. Annual increases were 3% to 8%, but since it's not regulated the MCF can charge whatever % they want for increase adjustments. I was fortunate that our MCF is local and private owned, so I was able to negotiate a fixed annual increase %. Remember to ask what the annual increase rate(s) is.

Babz0226

Any other questions we should ask or be aware of for future visits would be appreciated.

Thank-you

Katcat

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/211444#Comment_211444

best of luck to you. Wish I knew when that day was coming for me.

Katcat

Oh brother 3,000 waitlist. That’s pathetic. It’s horrible the pricing charged. Yes my place is just about as much as yours. Fortunately he took out long term insurance many years ago which is soooo expensive and that will only last maybe 2 years. What then.

Dio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/211464#Comment_211464

Here's a thread with the answer you seek

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67385/questions-for-mcf

CStrope

So many things I would look for if I was looking for a MCF. I placed my DH 4/1/2024. The administrator knew how to say all the right things when she gave me a tour. Extensive activities with the residents, supervised at all times when in the outdoor courtyard, bathroom checks every 2 hours for those not completely incontinent, and especially that they were qualified to work with FTD patients. All of these things have turned out to not be true. Here are some of the things I wish I had done: 1. Take a wet wipe and bend down and wipe a spot on the floor. I have discovered that DH's facility very seldome cleans their floors and they are disgusting. 2. Look around at the staff to see how they are spending their time. Are they engaging and/or helping patients, or are they standing around chit chatting. I see the staff often congregating in the med dispensing room, not paying attention to anyone in the facility. 3. What is the layout of the facility. This facility has all of the resident rooms around the outside of the building, with several group used rooms in the middle. All of the walls on the inner areas make it very difficult for staff to see the residents when they're in the living/common room areas, and in the hallways where many of the residents like to do laps and walk around. I'm constantly being told an incident occurred, but they never seem to know what happened because they can't see! 4. check the background and credentials of the administrator and any other staff members that are in charge. Ask how many staff have CNA, or just care assistants, etc. Is there a staff nurse on site? 5.) Randomly go during dinner time to see what kind of meals they are fed, and how the residents are attended to during dinner.

These are just a few of the things I wish I had known to ask.

Babz0226

Thank-you for so many good questions for future use if needed.