50th Anniversary

Nowhere

For better or worse we’re going to Alaska with the below group middle of this month. My dh is in advanced stage which is a peaceful stage for us. He walks and responds in short answers, but does not generate much conversation and no longer speaks of delusion or tells paranoid stories. He smiles and is happy to see me. We go on an outing into the community everyday. He says, “Yes, let’s go!”, when I ask if he’d like to go to Alaska. I know he recognizes beauty and is still a lover of nature. This will be our last big hurrah together and I’m so grateful to Life to experience this with him at this late stage in his disease. Fingers crossed he’ll double kayak with me in Glacier Bay. We’ve never been to Alaska and it was our dream to go on our 50th (which was this past May). If you’d asked me even just two years ago if this was possible, I’d have said no way. So, for those of you who fear the advanced stages of Alzheimers, in our case it is some sort of reprieve (as weird and sad as that sounds).

https://www.elitecruisesandvacationstravel.com/?gad_source=1

M1

I hope it's successful nowhere. Seems like i remember another poster who took a similar trip to a fishing camp. Obviously a big bucket list item....

Iris L.

I went with this group on her first Dementia Cruise to the Caribbean, about 2018. She took a group of us to the beach on one of the small islands by a jitney bus, where we had our own very nice barbeque. But the group left to return to the ship without me. I had to walk down some sandy roads and I didnt know where I was going. Fortunately some workers came by on an electric golf cart and gave me a lift back to the dock, where the tender boat was to take us back to the cruise ship. I was very upset, because I might have been stranded! If you leave with a number of people in your group, you should return with the same number. She obviously had no concern for me. I hope her customer skills have improved by now. I just returned from a six day trip. The leader was constantly counting us to make sure we were all together, she was not leaving anyone behind!

I question kayaking with an impaired person.

Happy 50th Anniversary!

Iris

ButterflyWings

DH is a lot more mellow and cooperative now, and we traveled more than most would imagine, or attempt, in Stage 6 after being literally homebound in much of Stage 5 due to his refusal to leave the house (or the car if I managed to get him into it). It definitely depends on your LO and the caregiver knows them best.

@Nowhere - Enjoy!

Jgirl57

Have a wonderful time!

RickM

Hello Nowhere. My wife and I kayaked for over 35 years doing adventures together and with our son in Washington and Canada. When in the very early stages of Alzheimer's we did a guided two week river raft trip down the Alsek River in Alaska. We were blown away by the beauty of Alaska.

When she started going downhill with the Dementia and was having difficulty in her own kayak, I bought a double kayak that we used for day trips for about another year. Overnight trips when we camped became too difficult to manage. I'm assuming you both have kayaking experience. If not I would not recommend that you try it. In my opinion you would have more fun enjoying the experience of being in Glacier Bay in a boat. On the other hand, why not? (Only if on a very calm day with very experienced guides who understand your limitations)

I see that you are going on a "dementia friendly" cruise. That is a good choice. They can help determine which activities will likely provide an outing that you both would enjoy. I'm glad your husband is easy to care for and be with in his advanced stage. It was the same for me with my wife. We kept doing outings, mostly guided rafting trips in the southwest, into her later stage of Alzheimer's. In her later stage she became lost easily. I had to keep my eyes on her at all times. Public bathrooms visits became worrisome. Additionally, being in an unfamiliar setting and out of our home routine often brought more disorientation for her and more stress for me.

On a downer note, my wife is very advanced now. Even trips to the bathroom are in the past. So have fun together while you can. It looks like you have picked a great trip. I'm so glad to see that trips are being offered for couples living with dementia. You can keep building memories even if one has no memory…sorry😂 I couldn't resist. There's a guy in my support group who is always going on a trip with his DW. They go to ski resorts, Europe, and ride a tandem bicycle around town.

Save travels. Happy 50th! That's pretty cool. We just had our 41st. Wave to me as you head out of Elliot Bay in Seattle on your way to Alaska. We're on the hill to your left.

Joe C.

I hope you have a great trip. We were able to do a good amount of travel during the early & mid stages of progression and I’m so happy we did. Enjoy and safe travels.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69448/50th-anniversary

How wonderful! Happy Anniversary. I hope you both have a great time. Let us know how it goes.

harshedbuzz

Nowhere—
Happy Anniversary.

I hope you enjoy the cruise and also that you post a review when you return.

HB

Nowhere

We fly back home tomorrow after a wonderful trip of gorgeous sights, great food, and service. I brought a door jam alarm so I’d know if tried to exit while I was sleeping. It went off three times and worked like a charm. He retreated each time no problem. The last night of the cruise packed suitcases must go out in the hall and in taking his out at midnight the cabin door closed and locked behind me. I didn’t have the key or my phone and he was in bed. I knocked and called (not too loud as it was midnight) to no avail. It was like a cartoon. I ran down the halls and rode down the elevator in my pjs to guest services to quickly have a new key made. Yes, we kayaked together in front of Mendenhall Glacier. Elite Cruises was the best for making this trip possible and giving us much support, joy, and freedom.

ButterflyWings

@Nowhere Congratulations! What an amazing photo! I can imagine you streaking to guest services in your PJs for an extra key lol- that would be me haha— you did it! Safe travels home.

ImMaggieMae

Happy Anniversary! It sounds like you had a wonderful time!

M1

So glad it all went well, and that picture says it all. Glad you had your pj's on 😋

michiganpat

I am so happy for you. It sounds like the perfect trip and the picture is great! The memories will last forever.

Joe C.

Nowhere, Great photo and glad you had a good trip to celebrate your anniversary. Kudos to you for planning to pulling off this trip.

JeriLynn66

Wonderful!!! So glad you were able to do this. Safe travels home❤️

harshedbuzz

I am delighted it went so well. Thanks for sharing.

ThisLife

Thank you for sharing an amazing success story. Very happy everything went well, and you both had a wonderful time.

housefinch

What a lovely place to celebrate a wonderful milestone. I’m so happy you had a great time and shared happy memories together.

Nowhere

Thanks, friends. Being home and resettling him into his assisted living memory care facility is harder than I’d imagined as I know this trip has been our final hurrah together in life. He rentered without an ounce of being troubled. I don’t know if he can believe or interpret even a photo of any of the shared experiences. Ying/yang. Sadness and joy are reverse sides of the fabric in which he and I are wrapped. When I awaken I hope to feel nothing but grateful for this experience. I need to write about the myriad of feelings of being immersed with him for the week with me acting and behaving like nothing was amiss- when, yes, he’s present, but almost absent in affect and reactions. He smiles when I ask him, too, for photos, And, usually in response to mine. That’s enough, well, no, it’s not, as he’s not thinking for himself anymore. I miss him so much!

midge333

I am so happy for you!

Mollykazoo

What a touching and beautiful trip. The picture is priceless and your description of your experience moved me to tears. I'm just so happy that you were able to take this adventure with your beloved husband.

For someone whose spouse is still in stage 4, this post is a gift. Just like all things (even the worst things), the grateful moments are sprinkled everywhere. Thank you.

SDianeL

thanks for the wonderful update. My DH and I traveled for 20 years in our RV and I miss it so much. He’s now in Memory Care. I miss him so much. I miss us.

Jgirl57

Congratulations ! It is so good to hear that no major troubles occurred. Great memories for you!

CindyBum

I am so dang happy for you that the trip went as good as it did.

jfkoc

nowhere….how about sharing a pic of that happy smile

Nowhere

We can still sail high in spirit. So grateful for that and to all of you.