Sweet but sad...Buck up, honey

M1 · June 6

Some days in this journey are memorable and this was one of them. The trauma of her Monday fall caught up with my partner today, she was sleepy, achy, sore, and tearful. She has no memory of the fall nor of the night in the ER. She woke up about lunchtime a bit. Crying, she looked at me and said, "my life is over...I can't live this way. What do we do now?"

FWIW, she knows she has my blessing to let go when it gets to be too much. We've had those conversations too. But today, with tears in my own eyes I reminded her (true story) of the best Chinese fortune cookie i ever got, which said: "Nature, time, and patience are the three great physicians.". That was taped to my office computer for years and years.

She smiled. Then I told her (also true) that when I am down, i many times ask myself what she would tell me to do. And there's only one answer to that: she would always say, " Buck up, baby." So i told her it was her turn to buck up.

So that made her laugh. And I told her my other constant inspiration was Churchill, for courage and never giving up. She proceeded to get out of bed and ate a great lunch, sitting at our little table by the window. Ten or fifteen minutes later she looked over at me and repeated "Buck up, honey." And smiled again. I was shocked she remembered it that long. And then she went back to bed and to sleep.

We are struggling to find a way to manage a loner who is mobile but has absolutely no safety awareness. One of these falls is almost inevitably going to cause a catastrophic injury. Driving home yesterday morning in my sleep deprived state i almost wished it had been this one.

Combination of one on one companion, cameras, and bed monitor is the current plan. But it's not foolproof.

JeriLynn66 · June 6

M1 that’s about the best thing I’ve heard in a while. What a great love story ❤️

fmb · June 6

What a wonderful story! I have to admit that it brought tears to my eyes. Praying for you both as you continue to walk each other home.

Jeanne C. · June 6

I'm in awe of you, your care for your partner, and your resilience. What a beautiful moment for the two of you.

Jgirl57 · June 6

Definately sweet but sad. I hope you were able to rest .

Phoenix1966 · June 6

Thank you for sharing that with us.

Buggytoo · June 6

It must be very sweet to have these moments of connectedness in this midst of all of this loss. Thanks for sharing this poignant one.

mrahope · June 6

So glad one of your DW's lucid moments happened for you as you face all the suffering with her falls. Your fortune cookie wisdom inspired me.

ghphotog · June 6

I hear you M1. I'm waiting constantly for that call that she fell and seriously hurt herself. She has osteoporosis so even a small fall can be catastrophic. I don't want to see her go all the way down this rabbit hole but I also don't want to her to go through the pain of a fall. She's fallen twice at MC so far. I know that call is coming.

A fall is what did my mom in as well. Hang in there M1.

ImMaggieMae · June 6

Cameras, monitors and a companion sounds like a good solution at this point. The injuries from that last fall sounds terrible. It’s a good thing she doesn’t remember it. So good to hear you had some quiet, lucid time together. It sounds like the move to the new room was a good decision.

White Crane · June 6

M1, how touching and sweet that she remembered. It's so hard watching our loved ones decline and waiting for that dreaded phone call that they have fallen. I hope the companion, camera, and bed alarm can help.

Brenda