Doing what I gotta do

MarDel0917

Tonight I called my MIL and said I'm dropping your son off tmr before i go to work. He can't be here at home. I came home to my laundry soap (that isn't cheap) not in it's container. Some on the floor. The bed we sleep in was a disaster. (He put my pillow in the dryer caise it was cold). His new CPAP machine on the bed upside down. There was Mt. Dew stickyness all over the kitchen floor and counter. I'm sure he drank possibly ... 9 to 10 cans today. He blames it on "him", who has been in our lives for maybe 2 months now. (He sees his shadow, reflection as someone else. Someone that will take all his things). We have in home help coming soon. Been approved for a few hours everything just takes TIME!! We are on the wait list to see a geriatric psychiatrist and have him on onlazapine (Zyprexa) that I don't believe it's working. We were both in tears and I said let's take a shower. He usually does that on his own but I don't know what came over me. I gave him a good scrub. As i was lathering up the wash wag i noticed on the bar soap there is a Dove. I told him that the Dove is a sign of God. I said this special soap is gonna wash him clean and "he" is gonna be gone. I was also praying to Lord as we were washing him away. So far he is calm. If it takes me the routine we did tonight for him to be calm and not have "him" in our live anymore I will do it!!!

We are all in this together 💜

ButterflyWings

@MarDel0917 I hope your MIL can keep an eye on him, but what will happen if he tries to leave for "home"? If he is having such vivid delusions and hallucinations this sounds like what we went through in mid-stages. I could barely keep up with DH then and I am younger and stronger than he is (and I assume your MIL). Does she understand how to deal with dementia?

If that is all you have right now, you are 100% correct - it is better than him being home alone. What if he drank the laundry soap instead of 2 packs of soda? What if he turned on the water to mop and forgot (DH did that) flooding the kitchen. New tiles and sub-flooring costs a bunch! And I will have to do it again unfortunately, as he flooded things again. What if he turned on the oven or burners and forgot? Metal in the micro-wave? Or weaponing up to fight that guy who is showing up in your house? I had to disappear the knives, hammers, bats and more when that happened here. Car keys had to be kept on me and his car hidden.

Two thoughts:

1. If this seems like it suddenly is off to the races, he may have a silent UTI. No other sign, but behavior escalates off the charts. It is worth checking. It took an anti-psychotic for us to get the behaviors in control, and antibiotic for the UTI though they had to do a culture on the urine sample to get the right antibiotic eventually.
2. My personal opinion and experience in our situation: Prayer helps loads and can be a big part of keeping you sane. Paired with appropriate action and professional geri/neuro intervention we are better able to get through without constant disasters. But dementia still is here and it still progresses since there is no cure yet. And no real treatment, just things like Quetiapine/Seroquel to help with symptoms. We are now in the final stages and my prayers are for his comfort and my strength as Stage 7 is picking up speed.

I wish you all the best, and hope the aide works out. Have a plan B for when they are a no show, or sick — because you are so wise to see that he has to have line of sight supervision, right now, and 24/7.

Edited to correct typos.