Really Mom? LOL

Quilting brings calm

They really don’t know how bad off they are, but they notice everyone around them.

Mom was complaining to me on the phone about the other female residents of the AL. They seem to keep watch over her since my step-dad died: monitoring her eating habits, checking her progress ( or lack thereof) on the puzzle she’s been working on for weeks, rounding her up for activities . Mom says she’s tired of them telling her what she needs to do, because ‘she can decide that for herself’.

I managed to keep my thoughts to myself. Which were along the lines of ‘no, you really can’t decide what you need to do for yourself- the AL staff and I are doing that’. I know the non cognitively challenged AL residents can see what I see.

M1

Qbc my partner does this too, amazes me that in late stage 6 now and unaware of her own deficits, she can clearly tell who is staff vs. who has dementia. And sadly she's not very kind to the more severely affected. I think she's afraid and unsure how to interact, so she retreats.

harshedbuzz

@Quilting brings calm

I can appreciate that your mom is irked by this, but in a way it's actually kind of nice that they are so inclusive of her. At my mean aunt's AL, once the other ladies picked up on her cognitive issues, they weren't very nice to her. Her sister once reported them chasing her away from "their" table at lunch.

HB

harshedbuzz

@Quilting brings calm

I can appreciate that your mom is irked by this, but in a way it's actually kind of nice that they are so inclusive of her. At my mean aunt's AL, once the other ladies picked up on her cognitive issues, they weren't very nice to her. Her sister once reported them chasing her away from "their" table at lunch.

HB

harshedbuzz

@Quilting brings calm

I can appreciate that your mom is irked by this, but in a way it's actually kind of nice that they are so inclusive of her. At my mean aunt's AL, once the other ladies picked up on her cognitive issues, they weren't very nice to her. Her sister once reported them chasing her away from "their" table at lunch.

HB

harshedbuzz

@Quilting brings calm

I can appreciate that your mom is irked by this, but in a way it's actually kind of nice that they are so inclusive of her. At my mean aunt's AL, once the other ladies picked up on her cognitive issues, they weren't very nice to her. Her sister once reported them chasing her away from "their" table at lunch.

HB

Quilting brings calm

@harshedbuzz

I have a feeling that the residents do recognize Mom’s issues. She’s still in the early stage, so I don’t think they are terribly turned off yet. Some of them are also fairly recent widows, and are supporting her because they know she’s grieving. Even though she says she isn’t.

However, I also have a feeling that the supervision could turn to what @M1 referred to as retreat at some point. I know I notice myself retreating. That’s why I’ve started working that puzzle with her. A way of being there longer than I feel up to without an activity buffer.

Enough of that serious thought on my part. My original post was meant to be just a lighthearted observation on what our LO sometimes say.

harshedbuzz

@Quilting brings calm The story brought a smile to my face this morning.