Update: finally some calm weeks

Anonymousjpl123

Hi everyone,

I just want to reach out and give a quick update: I haven’t been on here as much because my mom is actually doing very well.

Miraculously she seems settled into MC again, after a few months of misery. Now, she often tells me she feels good. Part of it was my VERY open talks with staff. I’m so grateful they were willing to listen to and work with me to get my mom through her very rough patch. For now, she’s on the right meds, participating in the community, even went on a short picnic 5 minutes away with my niece and I Sunday. We are planning a bday celebration - IN her MC (one of the rooms). Some of her old friends from AL will come. She has friends where she is. The staff - especially now - really know her.

Why do I tell this? I needed this. I was so scared to move her to MC. That it would break her. It hasn’t. Is her disease progressing? Yes. But she is getting help and love, I haven’t given up my life, and my boundaries are in tact which means I don’t secretly hate, or even resent, her. This may not last but I’m celebrating the moments. I know what’s coming. I need these now.

Wishing everyone safety and peace on this exhausting and unspeakable journey. I’m glad we have someplace to go to know we’re not alone.

H1235

I’m very happy for you. It’s nice to read good news on this board. It gives us hope.

Anonymousjpl123

@Chug thank you. I feel the same as you.

lanie68ny

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69511/update-finally-some-calm-weeks

This is very inspiring to me. I am in the beginning stages with mom. I am in the Anger, resentful, guilt stage. I am completely overwhelmed. May I ask How did you get threw it. I just started therapy. Thank you glad you have a reprieve.

psg712

Anonymous, I am so glad for you! These calm spaces between the waves of dementia upheaval are such blessed relief. You make an excellent point about communicating clearly and working cooperatively with staff. That is key at any stage.

Anonymousjpl123

@lanie68ny it was a long journey! The first 1.5 years were a truly horrific roller coaster of guilt, frustration at so many different opinions, rage, and overwhelm. I really don’t know if there’s any way to skip that part. It takes so much time and energy: getting the diagnosis, finding the right living situation, figuring out finances…it nearly broke me. And I’m sure you’re feeling that!

I will say that I posted here at ton, called the Alzheimer’s hotline a few times, and had 4-5 friends that were deep in it with me. It helped. They mostly listened but I needed that so badly.

Most importantly, I was already in therapy but I doubled down on that and taking self-care seriously. I wasn’t always successful, but I made the effort. I’m glad you found this board.

How did it go with the AL search?