Mom wants to revoke POA

kh945312

My mother is threatening to contact a lawyer to revoke the POA that I have. I am an only child and have MPOA and DPOA. She is recently paranoid that I am stealing from her and not making decisions according to her wishes. My father worked forever and worked with attorneys to set up a family trust that contains real property and all their investments. If she in fact finds a way to contact an attorney can she dismantle the trust if she’s able to revoke the POAs? I am trying to avoid going the guardianship route, since I’m not sure what she is really capable of.

H1235

How much is she dependent on you. Does she still have access to a checkbook and credit cards? Should she? Would she need you to drive her to the lawyer? If you control these things you might not need to worry as much. Would her doctor write a letter stating she is no longer able to make decisions for herself? I believe that for guardianship it would need to be signed by two doctors. This might also make a lawyer think twice about allowing her to make changes.

kh945312

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/212579#Comment_212579

Thanks for the comments. Overall I handle all financial matters. I did let her keep her credit card knowing she goes nowhere unless I take her and she was fixated on having it. She wants to see all paperwork from 2018 when my dad passed until now with her name on it. She’s afraid I have done away with everything that is hers. The creepy thing was I heard over the phone a caregiver come into her room and say something along the lines of “I can help you arrange transportation to an attorney”. I did report this to the facility, but it just kind of freaked me out. Mom was surely complaining to him about me supposedly taking everything and how she wanted to revoke the POA.

towhee

For your peace of mind I would take your trust and POA documents to a lawyer, but I think I can give some general info and some definitions. Caveat - I am not a legal professional.

A trustee has authority over what is in a trust. A POA has authority over what is not in a trust. Go to your trust documents and see who the current trustee is, and what process there is for changing the trustee. A trust is governed by rules set up within the trust, so read it and see if it allows for any changes. Usually any changes must be made with the agreement of the trustee or the beneficiaries if any changes are allowed at all. So if your mom were somehow to change her POA, she could affect probably the bank account her social security is deposited into, or any other bank accounts not in the trust.

It is good that you contacted the facility about the staff's inappropriate response to your mom, but it is possible that she was just "going along" to keep your mom calm while she did her care tasks. With your POA, you can ask the facility to limit your moms visitors and to notify you if she tries to leave the facility.

kh945312

Thank you so much!!! This was all so helpful. I’ve been digging into the trust since you mentioned that. Both of my parents are grantors and trustees. However after one parent dies (my father has already passed) certain critical parts of the trust are irrevocable. Great ideas on request to the facility regarding mom’s visitors etc. Thank you. Very helpful.

Quilting brings calm

is there any reason not to show her the documents she is asking to see? Other than she won’t actually understand them and will inaccurately see them as proof of what she is accusing you of? I’m not accusing you by that comment. Just noting that she might not recognize valid expenditures as such.

If you think seeing the documents will ease her fears, then maybe show them to her - one month at a time, one visit at a time. She may just want to feel validated even though she’s not capable of understanding what she is shown. Maybe she will lose interest after 15 minutes of looking at documents.

I think you need to talk to a lawyer- because if she is a trustee, she doesn’t need to revoke her POA to make allowed changes to the trust. In addition, she doesn’t need to revoke the POA to make changes or withdrawals to bank accounts etc that have her name on them. Even if it’s a joint account with you. Giving you POA allows you to handle her affairs, but she can still handle things herself at the same time. I think you would need to have her declared incapacitated if you really wanted her not to he able to change the trust etc

jfkoc

Get out the DPOA document and read carefully. It may be too late for your mother to revoke.

towhee

I think Quilting brings calm is right about your mom still being a trustee. This could be a problem even if just in the normal running of the trust. Look at the section of your trust that deals with "successor trustees" and "removal of trustee or inability to serve". When we removed my mom from her trust it required a doctor's letter that she could no longer serve as trustee, and a lawyer to make an administrative filing with the court. Various certified letters were involved, including one to notify the current trustee. I would consult a lawyer, you might decide the time is not yet, but you need to consider it.

Regarding access to her bank account, all she would need to do is show up at the bank with an ID and know her social security number. She still owns her account, and they cannot refuse her access. Usually, what POAs do is transfer funds to an account listed only under the POA title. So the Social Security deposit would come in and then be automatically transferred to the POA account. But it has to be the POA title and not you personally on the account. If she gave POA to someone else then she would not have to leave the facility but what the new POA would have immediate access to by way of finances would be very limited. I would be more concerned about a new POA taking her out of the facility. Usually when someone gets up to this sort of shenanigans it is an unhappy family member. Doing this would take time, planning, and trust by the PWD, who at this point probably cannot do this by herself. A staff member who only sees your mom a few minutes a day is unlikely to pull this off. If you do show her her bank account and other documents, please make sure she cannot copy and keep her bank account number. If you have not already, you need to freeze her credit so a new card can not be taken out, and check her credit regularly. Please do consult a lawyer so that you understand your trust documents completely.

To head off family problems it might or might not be helpful to make sure all trust beneficiaries are kept apprised of decisions involving your moms care, reasons for same, and a general yearly accounting of trust funds.

It is wise to be cautious, but try not to worry.

kh945312

Hi all, just a huge thank you for the comments and suggestions. Has been very valuable. Thank you!!!