Stuck on going to CVS to demand drugs

OhDear

My DH does many things repetitively, and I can usually deal with it because it's just me. But now, he insists on going to CVS to ask for medication but he has nothing to be filled. If I try to redirect or explain, I'm a bitch who wants him to suffer. I even got an old prescription refilled hoping he would be satisfied, but no - he still insisted they weren't giving him his medication. I'm exhausted and at a loss. One pharmacy aide lost his cool and they got to shouting - while I was trying to buy yet more OTC drugs. This happens twice a day for the last week! I am losing my mind. Any ideas?

ButterflyWings

Can he get to CVS by himself? It sounds like it is a trigger for his delusion and anxiety and you should avoid taking him there at all costs. Inconvenient, I know but…

Also, a forum mate recently reminded us about the Naomi Feil technique of VALIDATION before redirection which can really help. There are videos online to demonstrate this approach.

No more explaining. It is not going to do anything but agitate him as you see. Can't reason with a broken reasoner.

Fiblets are very helpful - and if you have not explained to the head pharmacist, they need a heads up. Regardless, the pharm aide should not be yelling at a PWD. Your DH sounds like he needs more supervision if he manages to get to the pharmacy, and you can phone or have a short note explaining he has dementia.

*Can you enlist the pharmacist or assistant with delivering the fiblet? That way you are singing the same tune

• There is no prescription due yet - need to call Dr. to schedule a refill (sounds like that is true)
• It is on backorder and will be in stock next week (or say they'll call you when it comes in)
• Dr. says he doesn't need it anymore, or not as often,
• They are changing that medication so he will need a new Drs appointment first
• Medicare or other ins co. requires a new exam/Drs. appointment before renewing that med

You may come up with better ones. I wish you luck. If he is getting verbally abusive this may be a sign he needs one of the antipsychotic meds or a change in the current dose. This could become a real problem in public with someone getting hurt or arrested (hopefully not) and you don't need to be cursed at that way though it does happen sometimes with our PWD LOs.

M1

I'd consider antipsychotic medication regardless. Talk to his doc....

Jo C.

This is a difficult challenge and I am sorry for the stress it is adding to the dynamics. I do agree with MI; this is not just a stubborn dynamic, it is a change in brain and thinking and appears to need some professional assistance. Adjustment in medication or type of med may bring the peace that both of you need. I can imagine he is fairly undone by not getting what he feels is necessary.

We had med issues that became a daily upset. We did not have to go to pharmacy - I had prescription bottles and with the doctor's consent, I bought different types and colors of Tic-Tacs and filled the bottles with that and to my utter surprise, it actually worked well. No more angst!

I also at one point wrote a "letter" from the insurance making my a letterhead and stated that some of the meds would often be coming by mail and not always from local pharmacy. I could "send" my faux prescriptions in old prescription bottles and that did the trick. Sometimes, if a LO is over the moon about such a matter and will not let go, it is simpler to devise a path that will be accepted rather than argue, etc.

Best of luck, hope all settles down and works out better for you. Let us know how it goes.

J.

OhDear

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/212709#Comment_212709

Wow, very creative. I think he'd actually buy this. I'll try it - thanks!

OhDear

Thanks! I will talk to the pharmacy and maybe try to do mail delivery.

jfkoc

great work-arounds to try…another might be to have the pharmacist tell him nothing will be ready for several days