How to prepare a dementia patient to transition?

Terry0414

I'm transferring my dad from one LTC facility to another. He's set in his ways so I'm anticipating some resistance. But the new facility is 30 minutes from my home as opposed to 2 hrs away. It's a much better facility than he's currently in. How do I frame my conversation with him on that day?

M1

Welcome to the forum Terry. We went through this about a year ago. Does your dad have any particular narrative about why he's in his current facility? For example- my partner bought into being in "rehab" to treat her bad back. He might actually just accept that its closer to you. Whatever it is, i would keep it short and sweet. Or nothing at all, and just say you're going for a ride.

When we moved my partner, we told her it was because the physical therapy was better. On the day of the move i had friends actually take her out for breakfast and then to the new place in their car while i finished exit paperwork at the place we were leaving. I then met her there. She wasn't happy when she realized she would be staying there, and at the nurse's suggestion we just made a fairly quick exit and let the staff handle it. By the next day she had no memory of the previous facility. Now a year later (and having just been put on hospice) she still asks where she is and why she's there, though she has no memory of home other than her childhood home in Texas. We just tell her she's been sick and in the hospital.

good luck, let us know how it goes.

N00dles

Are you driving your dad to the new facility or is there transportation offered from the new facility?

You might want to think about what you are going to say, such as 'going on a drive' and then you show up at the new facility. Maybe you say there is something wrong (plumbing, broken air conditioner, etc) with previous room and need to stay 'for a few days' at a different place.

Hopefully you could already have some of his belongings moved to the new facility, so when he arrives it has familiar items there.

Emily 123

My mom had the flu and a bad UTI that left her debilitated. I told her that her doctor wanted her to do a few weeks of inpatient rehab.