Harmless behaviors

JC5

As with most families we have our favorite coffee cup, seat at the table, bath towel we use etc. I’ve noticed lately that DH has been using my towel, sitting in my seat at the table using my coffee cup, even eating my leftover takeout that he use to not like 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of behavior and curious why?

charley0419

that’s new one for me , but there are a bunch of them.

Jez975

I have observed this with my DW. She eats and enjoys foods she never would have eaten before or hadn’t eaten in years.

midge333

My DW has had juvenile diabetes since she was 8 years old and never ate sweets. She always told be people she never acquired a taste sweets because she couldn't eat them as a child. In the last 6 months she would eat pie or ice cream every single meal. She is also adding twice as much cream and sugar to her coffee.

SDianeL

one of the first things that happens is they forget what is theirs. They also forget what foods they like or don’t like. My DH used to eat scrambled eggs. I fixed them one morning and he said out of the blue “I don’t like eggs!” I said since when and caught myself as I realized he didn’t remember he liked them. My DH also forgot the names of foods. If I asked if he was hungry he would say no and then eat an entire package of cookies.

jsps139_

I take my towel, soap, shampoo, brush, comb, toothbrush, and hairspray out of the bathroom every morning because my DH started using these things. I only leave things in the bathroom that he uses. Then I put it back in after he showers until the next morning. Also, he was a meat and potato only guy all our married life before Alzheimer’s. Now he literally eats anything, which is wonderful. Example: he ate a spinach salad and a big bowl of homemade lentil soup for dinner tonight. He NEVER would have eaten that! It makes life so much easier for me because I often made 2 separate meals.

sandwichone123

Maybe he sees you using it and figures that's the way it's done? I know my dh watches me and follows my lead a lot, and I could imagine him doing that.

harshedbuzz

We saw a bit of this just before dad was diagnosed. He wasn't violating household norms as you describe but would sometimes co-opt things that were intended for someone else in the middle stages. At a restaurant, for instance, he'd decide what mom or I had was more appealing once out meals arrived and insist he'd ordered whatever it was and take it. This often led to a 3-way swap as he'd foist his shrimp entree on me and mom would take it as I'm allergic. Not long after, we took to ordering "for the table" to avoid this.

Later, he started to conflate events from other people lives as his own experiences. A flood at my house, mom's TKR and his brother's children were especially striking to hear about.

HB

annie51

I have seen similar behaviors from my DH. Many of the normal habits we never even think about are now not normal or gone. I have to be careful about noticing certain ones though…like using the dish towel to clean the floor, or using my towel to wipe his sweat off. I don’t mind the harmless behavior changes - they are easy to adapt to. It’s those other ones (like not showering for example) that cause us so much grief.

Denise1847

Oh yes. Every day he was using my towel, brush, shampoo, etc. I got wise and keep my stuff hidden in my closet, pull it out and then return it to its hiding place. I just use a new towel every day to avoid issues. It is the little things that can add up over time.

KathyBol

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69552/harmless-behaviors

Yes, my husband has been using my toothbrush! Things never go back to the same place, etc. Today, he decided he wants to sell this house and move back to Rhode Island. ( we live in Rhode Island) We were planning a trip to France in September, he just threw out all thetravel books, because he didn't think he would enjoy it. This is making my head spin, we have been happily married for 18 years, the trip was going to be great, now he doesn't really seem to believe we are married!

M1

hi KathyBol, I know you posted something similar on another thread.

It’s very disconcerting when you get to the point that your spouse doesn’t know you and doesn’t remember your relationship, it’s quite the emotional shock. This would suggest to me that he is probably in Stage 5 on the 7-stage model. I think you would be wise to cancel your travel plans. Ironically he is probably right, he’s probably not up to it.

HollyBerry

yes! "My" recliner isn't mine any more… and a bunch of other things. I had wondered if it had to do with boundaries or something else. Guess it's just one more of those AD things that nobody told us about.

l7pla1w2

For 50 years, DW and I have slept on "our own" side of the bed, she on the left, I on the right. Now that she treats me like a visitor ("I haven't seen you in ages"), she offers me a choice of side. When I say "right", she says she's always slept on that side. Her rationale for thinking her side is the right is that that side is closer to her closet. Never mind that her nightstand is on the other side, containing all her stuff.