Showers

Sandra Wuirk

Why does husband always refuse to shower? We live in assisted living they will help but he refuses.

M1

welcome to the forum. Look on YouTube for Teepa Snow videos about bathing and dementia. It’s a highly complex process and a very hard sensory experience because of the skin exposure, moisture, and cold. Very common for them to be resistant.

jfkoc

fear and lack of executive function play a role…is there a chair and a hand help shower head?

SDianeL

A caregiver familiar with dementia should know how to get him to shower. He forgets when he had his last shower and showering is a complex process and he may be afraid. I got my DH to shower by saying he needs to shower 2x a week on Wed & Sun. On those days, I would get his shower and everything he needed ready, even turned on the water for him the first time. He took his shower. After that if he balked at taking his shower, I would just say it's ready when you are and leave it at that. He would go take it before the day ended. Also read the book "The 36 Hour Day" that's where I got the tips. It really helped me a lot early on. It was recommended by a nurse.

Pat6177

I accidentally discovered a couple of things that are now making it easier to get Stage 5 DH to shower. DH has had a few episodes of diarrhea, low grade fever and weakness. He fell a few times and that really upset him and he remembered it (for a while). I bought a bedside commode and started using that as a shower chair. DH actually felt better about having a shower chair. And that’s when I started getting into the shower with him, helping him and keeping him on task. Now when I mention that it’s time for a shower (once a week), I tell him there’s the shower chair so he doesn’t have to stand and that I’ll help him and tell him how we’ve got it down to a science and it takes no time at all. I didn’t realize that it had become such a chore for him. But the scaffolding I’m now providing is making it simpler and perhaps less daunting for him.

Elshack

I remember when my DH didn't want to shower he said he felt like the water hitting his head was almost drowning him. A Hand held shower head worked well. Another thing I did was put his bath towel in the drier for a few minutes so when he came out of the shower ( with my assistance ) he really liked the cozy feeling of the warm bath towel.

Another hint is to tell him that after he showers he will get a special ice cream treat or something he likes.

DTSbuddy

Elshack. I like the idea of a warm towel. My DH was refusing to shower at 8 pm. Now he showers before dinner, between 4 and 6 pm, when he is not yet sundowning so much. He enjoys a scalp massage with a soft brush in the shower. Eats dinner in his PJs. Watches some music on the computer before sleeping. Hopefully he will stay in his bed tonight and not wander. The alarm system will blast if he tries to go outside. Twice this week, he took walks by himself (in the daytime) and neighbors brought him home. Bless them. I need to be more attentive. Got to go to sleep now. Hope you all are doing ok.