New member

Stricken

Hi
I have a partner with undiagnosed dementia. Trying to get him diagnosed has been an uphill battle. He doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him so is very resistant to attending appointments, etc. Am now at the stage where he has had a ‘challenging‘ appointment with the Dementia and Frailty team and yesterday had an MRI on his brain. My husband has always been a very difficult man and prior to my slow realisation that something was drastically wrong I was on the verge of leaving him, despite financial difficulties. I came across this forum when, at 4 o clock in the morning, I typed into google ‘can you divorce someone with dementia’. Not sure why I joined as I don’t have a specific question except to say that I do have very supportive children and sister and a good friend, but feel so bad constantly burdening them with my problems.

Iris L.

Welcome. This question comes up frequently in the Spouse/ Partner board. I suggest thatvyou read a lot of threads on that board. Learn about dementia, especially anosognosia. This is a characteristic of dementia that keeps PWDs from being aware that they have dementia. It is not denial, and you cannot fix or change it. Do not mention dementia to him. You will have to learn the work-arounds that the members use. Now that you are here, rely on the support of the knowledgeable members here. Read a lot of threads and post often.

Iris

mrahope

This is a safe and caring space, and we all know that each individual with dementia is a different case. I couldn't begin to advise you on what to do about difficult situations such as the one you face. However, I can testify that even though my DH is now in MC (memory care), he still believes he is working at the facility and does not have dementia at all. FWIW, this is (as Iris pointed out) a hallmark of the dementia journey for many. Remember to take care of yourself, whether you remain together with your spouse or not.

SDianeL

so sorry you are going thru this. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which was recommended by a nurse and helped me after my husbands diagnosis. I would contact an elder care attorney. You will need a Durable Power of Attorney.

Jgirl57

Welcome and glad you found this forum. Just keep reading and visiting this site and hopefully you will feel comfortable asking questions and seeking answers to help you decide how you want to proceed. This is a difficult disease for caregivers and for the person with the disease .