Do you take your LO in AL to the store to buy supplies?

H1235

Mom moved to AL about a month ago. I’m curious if you take your LO out weekly to buy supplies? I avoid it since I never know what she is going to decide she “needs”. I’m worried her room will fill with clutter or just multiples of things she already has. If I ask if she needs anything she will just tell me she needs to go to the store. When I bring her she doesn’t get what she really needs and we end up making a special trip to AL for depends. Do I just try to keep an eye on everything without being too obvious. She thinks she is capable of managing all this herself and gets upset if I seem too involved in her business. I guess I’m answering my own question, but I would like to hear from some of you.

JeriLynn66

I always kept an eye on the “stock” items for my FIL and kept at least 1 spare of each item on the highest shelf in the utility closet. He never looked in there anyway and couldn’t have reached if he had.

Iris L.

Yes, you have to be in charge of supplies.

Iris

HollyBerry

My mom enjoyed recreational shopping for a long time. I took care of essentials but I'd ask if she needed pants or whatever, and we'd head to Walmart. She'd pick out what she wanted to bring home and try on, I'd ask later in the week how they fit and she'd tell me to return everything. It made her happy.

fmb

You need to be the Supply Fairy now. Discreetly checking on what she needs and just matter-of-factly showing up with the supplies is probably the least stressful way to handle it. If she protests, you can always tell her that you were doing some shopping for yourself and picked these items up for her while you were at the store.

Hospice provides nearly everything for DH, but thanks to ALF aides "borrowing" supplies from his closet to use on other residents who aren't provisioned by hospice and have run out of briefs, chux, etc., I keep extra briefs and wipes in my car at all times. For the few things he needs that they don't provide, I wouldn't take him shopping even if he were able to go with me. I usually end up at WM, and I hate going there on the best of days!

Quilting brings calm

I have mom give me a list ( in writing or verbally). I’m on her checking account and I have a debit card for it. So I buy the supplies and bring them to her. I think she is almost to the point that I will need to check her cabinets and make a list myself. I have a monthly Depends subscription order delivered to the AL from Amazon.
My mom uses a walker, and she goes so slow it’s almost in reverse. It’s hard for me to get the walker in/out of my small SUV. So I take her out for medical appointments and only other things when I have to. The last non-medical trip was to the shoe store. She tried on every shoe she could and picked a pair that came in white rather than the pair that felt the best. Within 3 days she was complaining about the fit/ the same as all the shoes she already had. I was so annoyed at the AL PT who had convinced her she needed new shoes.
Occasionally the activity director will take a couple residents to the store as an outing. She’s gone once or twice.
When my step-dad was alive, he resisted my going to the store for them. He would go himself since he was still driving. I just let him do it except when the weather was bad or he acted as if he wasn’t up to it.

harshedbuzz

I found it simplest to check supplies and order proactively. If a person is too impaired to live independently, they can't be expected to provide an accurate list of needs, nor can you expect them not to succumb to impulsive shopping.

To discourage "borrowing" or even shopping, I kept one additional pack of Depends, wipes and gloves on hand and stored the rest at home. I don't know that this would have happened but better safe than sorry.