Advice on death

lanie68ny

Mom has some Dementia, and is moving into ALF in 2 weeks. She is very stressed about this so her dementia is pretty bad right now. We took her cat for shots, vet said he will pass any day now. I am so new at this on how to communicate. I know when it happens she will know, but what about 4hrs later when asks. What do I say? The truth? She is obsessive with him, so lying is hard because she will insist on seeing him. Thoughts

M1

Whatever brings the most comfort is the right answer. I would probably not tell her of the death but that the cat needed to stay at the vet for observation, you'll go get it in a few days.. Rinse and repeat. If you don't bring it up, she may forget about it in the chaos of the move.

psg712

Was she planning take the cat with her to AL? If you can keep the cat with you, that may be best so he does not die while he is with her (and the AL staff doesn't have to deal with a deceased animal in the facility). It's so hard to separate someone from a beloved pet - I agitated about this when my mom was moving to MC - but depending on the degree of her dementia, you might find that the move helps keep kitty out of sight, out of mind. There will be so much change for her in the move that the cat might fade into the background. If she does ask, M1's suggestions are great.