Mother making up stories

ShannonLeeNMB

Hi, I'm new here. My 74 yo mother is staying with my son and I for the summer, until my son goes back to school. My son is 9 yo. My mother has been making up toxic stories about me, telling her friends and even my adult daughter. This has been going on for about a month and I just found out. My mother also believes I am neglecting her (I'm not). We live down the street from the beach. My son and I go as much as possible. We have gone to the beach 23 times since May 8th. The ocean has always been mom's absolute favorite thing her entire life. She has only gone with us 3 times! She just lays around the house, watching movies or reading books on her iPad. She's also spending a lot of time texting people horrendous stories about me, accusing me of playing a mind game with her. Her vision is beginning to go. She is in denial about that. She has communication problems with people, but "it's everyone else with the problem." When she drives, she admits people are blowing their horns at her, but says she's a perfect driver. I'm thankful to be here to get advice. I've read a lot this morning and am feeling a bit better. At least I have an idea what is going on with her now! It's very obvious dementia has begun. How unfortunate for her and my family! It's been extremely hard for me dealing with these stories she believes.

ColleenN1107

Hi....you are not alone. My mom does the same with me. I am her sole caregiver and she tells horrible stories about me to others, but praises me to my face. Once in a blue moon she will tell me thethings she yells others and it breaks my heart. I know it's the disease and coming in here and reading others stories has helped tremendously. Hang in there.

M1

welcome to the forum Shannon, you have come to a good place for advice and support.

The toxic stories about family members conspiring against them is a pretty common phenomenon, as is the
"lying around the house"—this is apathy and loss of executive function. If she hasn't been diagnosed, you should be sure she is seen and examined—there are a few things (thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies) that are treatable and can mimic dementia. but you should definitely tell the doctor your observations, family members are always the first to notice. Give details. Medication may help dial down the paranoia somewhat.

Several other things you should do right away. Legal and financial matters lead the list; you will need to have power of attorney for health and finances in order to care for her in the future. Talk to an elder law attorney (look at nelf.org) asap about getting these in place. You may be able to convince her to do this by saying you are updating your papers too.

We always say that safety drives the decision making in dementia. In this regard, you should disable her car and take away the keys; you may also need to limit her internet and phone access. (you can change the passwords, say it's broken, whatever).

I worry about her telling such toxic stories to your young son. In this regard, you may need to both have a talk with him, and perhaps even make other living arrangements for her. He should be your top priority. Sorry you are facing this.

mabelgirl

it’s been a year almost since my mom moved in with me. After about 3-4 months she started the I’m stealing from her song , then it was I was a liar and manipulating everyone, then I moved on to stealing from neighbors, now I use magic mechanical contraptions to steal her stuff, on and on. My young grand niece had heard these and told her dad I was being mean to her great grandmother. Her grandmother explained how her great grandmothers brain was broken and she can’t think correctly. My own great granddaughter (8yo) hears first hand my mom’s accusations and she’s also been told about the brain malfunction. Unfortunately while we all understand I can still say it takes a toll as it is a struggle to keep my compassion for her and certainly the kids show signs of resentment. This and other reasons are why I’m working towards getting her moved to AL.

Prayers for patience and compassion.

Aurora20032

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69710/mother-making-up-stories

Hi, I’m new here as well. My mom is 70 but often thinks she’s 42 or 50. She came to live with me after my older sister was alerted her storage bill wasn’t being paid. It’s ended up being auctioned. We found out she had completely moved out of her apartment and was living out of her truck. We filed a missing persons report. My mom was eventually found and placed in a mental hospital.
Since coming to stay with me I made sure she was up to date on dental, physical, and immunizations. My mom had her first appointment with the memory clinic. The nurse tested her and she scored 11/30. Many questions was asked and at the end we were told she has mild moderate Alzheimer’s. She was already started on medication at the mental hospital. The reviewed her medications and kept them the same.
Recently, things have been getting worse (trying to wander, delusions, hallucinations, toxic stories, thinking people stealing from her, and claiming other peoples items as her own). She takes items of her own and others and throw them away. The constant disrespect is another thing. One of my sons has a light complexion and my said “looks like the sun can’t do nothing for you”.
I spoke with the doctor. She stated she believes my mom is moving to another stage and try melatonin at night. I started giving her the melatonin about three days ago. She’s a little calmer and sleeps a little longer at night. But nothing seems to help the daytime and evening when she’s sundowning. I’m still hanging in there and doing my best.

M1

Hi Aurora. Keep pestering the doc. She likely would benefit from additional medication . is she on an atypical antipsychotic like Seroquel or Risperdal? Those can be a great help and are much more potent than melatonin. If this doctor won't prescribe, ask for a referral to a geriatric psychiatrist. Or get one from the mental hospital.

mabelgirl

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214413#Comment_214413

My mom needs both the melatonin and Seroquel to curb the evening agitation. Her doctor also prescribed some for the morning as she often wakes up agitated.

livefree2

M1 gave you excellent advice.