Today is my birthday

ronda b

My Dh wish me happy birthday this morning :)

The rest of the day has been all about him. Dh is pretty cognitive. Suggested we go out to eat,no. Was more worried about what he wanted

Sounds very petty to complain but is this what it's going to be like? Very how can I say it, self absorbed or like a kid wanting to do what he wants when he wants?

M1

oh yes, that is very much what’s in store. Count it as a win that he still knew about the birthday, the day will fast come when he won’t. I’m sorry- for all of us.

Happy birthday…

midge333

Happy birthday. Early on it reminded me of the egocentricity of an adolescent…

Stan2

Happy Birthday.

My DW didn't wish me a happy birthday, didn't remember our anniversary and expressed no concern when The doc discovered a melanoma on my arm.

I know that it is the disease, she is the kindest, most generous and caring person I have ever known.

Be thankful for the small wins when you get them.

trottingalong

Happy birthday. My DH asked me recently when my birthday is. When I said August he said “I know I won’t remember” and I just said that was ok, I would remind him and make a cake for us. His favorite of course.

JeriLynn66

Happy Birthday. 🙋‍♀️👑💜🌺🎂🎉❤️

harshedbuzz

@ronda b

Belated birthday greetings to you.

Holiday celebrations and reciprocity are common casualties of the apathy and loss of empathy dementia brings to the party. I am sorry; if ever there was a group of people who deserve a pleasant break from dinner duty it's caregivers.

I found dad's utter lack of empathy more like someone with autism in terms of self-centered focus. Sensory issues, too.

HB

Denise1847

Happy Birthday! I am sorry to say to enjoy that acknowledgement you received. My DH hasn't known my birthday since forever, but it is because he has not considered others in eons.

Denise1847

White Crane

Happy Birthday, Ronda!!! You deserve a birthday cake and a beautiful card. I know it's hard to accept the self-absorption and lack of empathy and I'm sorry you have to experience it. It does get easier as we stop expecting any acknowledgement. It still hurts but we know it's not personal. I'm glad he could tell you Happy Birthday! That's a win for sure.

SDianeL

Happy Birthday! Please read the book "The 36 Hour Day" which really helped me after my DH's diagnosis in 2021. It was referred by a nurse. It talks about the disease and what to expect in each stage. I began writing down my DH's symptoms to send to the doctor each month. Each new symptom was like a gut punch. Hallucinations, getting lost at night to go to the bathroom, not taking a shower, not know what foods were called, watching old westerns on TV all day. Your husband is trying to cope with his illness and he can no longer reason. He's not "acting" like anything. This is his new reality. Please learn all you can so you will understand better how to help him. For a couple of years before my husband's diagnosis when we would go out to eat he couldn't read the menu and pick something to eat. I would do it for him. I never thought anything about it until his diagnosis. He had symptoms years before that. He is now in Memory Care and I miss him so much.

ronda b

Thank you everyone. Great group.