NYT Magazine: Racing to Retake a Beloved Trip, Before Dementia Takes Everything

dancsfo

A touching story about a daughter and father's trip to Europe. I gifted article so it's unlocked for 30 days. I learned about a 1950's themed adult day care and artificial village called Town Square. But the key part of the story is about reminiscence.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/30/magazine/dementia-alzheimers-reminiscence-therapy.html?unlocked_article_code=1.3k0.NQlE.a8EKJBQR-s5J&smid=url-share

sandwichone123

Oh, that's lovely. Thank you!

Bebobra

Thank you for this precious gift. A wonderful read. Very encouraging. I sure needed this tonight😊

ButterflyWings

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69739/nyt-magazine-racing-to-retake-a-beloved-trip-before-dementia-takes-everything

Thank you for this very special read! A great gift.

harshedbuzz

Not to piss in anybody's cornflakes, but am I the only person here who questioned the author's choice to have dad fly cross-country solo?

HB

JJ401

The description of the time in Europe was beautiful, but I cringed at the flying alone too. Then I cringed when I realized he had his own hotel room. She was extremely lucky he did not wander off into the night. I traveled with DH when he was functioning better than her dad and he needed more supervision than she gave her dad.

I wonder what happened when they flew home. Did she let him continue home alone? Did she think he had improved on the trip and could live alone? Did she find him an assisted living in California? Did she move him near her?

GothicGremlin

Awww , very sweet.

I liked the phrasing of "memories of memories" and "reconciled memories" .. that resonated with me.

But yeah — as I read the article, I was worried that he was going to get lost going to the airport, at the airport — essentially all of the things that could go wrong. They were very lucky.

I understand the need/desire to take that one last trip - I did it myself with Peggy, also to Italy! The only difference was that I never left her alone.. I still applaud the author for getting in that one last trip. He seemed so happy in that moment.

GothicGremlin

P.S. Going 115 down Highway 1 — are they insane!?! 😄 Where is that even possible?

ButterflyWings

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214456#Comment_214456

That part! I kind of assumed that maybe she embellished or edited a tad — journalistic license — and/or had a little bit of background, back up support along with her/him that just wasn't mentioned, as I always do when traveling with DH. I would have booked an adjoining room with him or a suite if it wasn't my hubby, but only before I knew better.

My guy went walkabout one time inside a strange hotel late at night looking for a vending machine (found it only to realize he had no money…hmm), we were also in a strange city while I slept too soundly to hear him leave the room. He took the key and room number (on the keycard sleeve) thank goodness and we were really, really lucky he found his way back to the room rather than out the lobby door onto the street. Stage 4.

So, I found her story believable because I made some of the same mistakes she did, and we were VERY, VERY lucky until I learned better. Just as this author and her dad appear to have been.

The point some of you are making here though, (I think, and I agree!) is that this might give false security or paint another too-rosy picture of dementia to the general public, which is harmful and dangerous in reality. Point taken. Who is going to send our expert review to the author? Hopefully it would be well-received. A platform such as that should not be wasted.

Iris L.

The author is a skilled writer. Nevertheless, the author seems clueless about the realities of Alzheimer's Disease. I get the impression that the author thinks that dad is just "old" and a bit befuddled. This man should not be living alone and certainly not traveling alone. I also got the impression that the author believes the dad to be "better" after the trip. A months-long search was undertaken for a woman who wandered away from a restroom at a Los Angeles museum. She was separated for only a few minutes but was never found alive. Her body was found ten miles away. PWDs are vulnerable adults and need help, whether or not they acknowledge it, which they won't, given that they have anosognosia.

I appreciated the information about reminiscence therapy. I am familiar with the facility in Chula Vista. There is a facility at Hogeway, the Netherlands, which is a dementia village designed as vintage buildings and areas. Perhaps more facilities like these would be helpful.

Iris

dancsfo

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214524#Comment_214524

There are other Dementia Villages, in addition to the ones you mentioned, mostly in Europe.

https://www.dementiavillage.com/

Iris L.

Dancsfo, thanks for posting about the additional dementia villages. This is such a wonderful concept! Home-like care, instead of institutional-like care.

Iris

Iris L.