Freaking out

mpang123

I read that 1/3 of caretakers pass before the PWD goes. I depend on my mom to take care of dad until he dies. But my mom also have beginning signs of Alzheimer's and don't know how it will progress. I don't know what to do if either one passes away and how I can step in to take care of them when their conditions worsen.

harshedbuzz

@mpang123

If you are the POA, then you just do. How well it goes will depend a lot on how robust your Plan B is.

After dad was diagnosed and we got all of the legal paperwork sorted out to enable me to step in, I immediately found a SNF that would accept dad as a resident temporarily on-the-fly until I could get him transferred to the first of my top 3 MCF that would accept him as a resident.

HB

mpang123

Thanks HB. Yes, I have DPOA. It's the handling of finances that gets me worried. I will see a lawyer for details.

mpang123

I want my mom to take care of dad at home until he passes so my mom can afford to go to assisted living with the money left over. Not feasible for both of them in placement.

livefree2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214566#Comment_214566

It could possibly be feasible with Medicaid spend down…check into it with elder care lawyer.

mpang123

I need to tell mom about eligibility for Medicaid and how to qualify and the urgency to seek it and I need her to see the lawyer with me. Not sure how all this will happen... I guess the first step is to educate mom about it.

mpang123

I've been reading about the spend down. It's confusing. The ideal would be having mom sit down with elder lawyer to explain everything. Don't know how to get my mom there.

Quilting brings calm

Ate you sure that it would be that much more expensive for both of them in AL? My parents were in an AL in the same apartment. One paid the full fee. The other paid the second person fee-which was about 1/3-1/4 of the full person fee

mpang123

Thanks QBC, I can check it out at different facilities. Ask bunch of questions then explain to mom.

JeriLynn66

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214587#Comment_214587

I think if you will find the CELA and make the first call, you can get some information to help calm your fears. You'll never know until you make the call. Many initial consultations are free and the Attorneys skilled at gaining cooperation from elderly, frightened people in the midst of crisis. You are there. Big hugs to you.

mpang123

Thanks Jeri Lynn. It won't hurt to make the first call …