EO Stopping Work

Lgb35

for those whose LO had to make the decision to leave work. How did you help them through the depression? My DH is struggling with making that decision even though he knows he should. He has been a workaholic his whole life. I think he is worried about not providing that income and feeling like he has nothing left if he isn’t working. How did you all handle this transition?

beachbum

We are in the same situation. My DH should be starting sick leave beginning of next week. He has always worked and I do not know how he is going to adjust, in addition we have had the driving discussion. He does not fight me about it but just says my driving is fine. I think he feels he needs to resist but deep down knows I am right. He is in his 50’s and this is a lot to process. My children are home for summer and will drive him but come fall it will be just me and I work full time. I fear he will become depressed as well. My boys don’t want to get rid of his vehicle so will just have to take him for rides in it.

Belle60

We went through that about two years ago when DH had to retire. We did all avenues to keep him working longer but finally exhausted all resources and he had no other alternative. He still has difficulty accepting he has retired and is no longer contributing with income from working. I have sat down with him numerous times and gone over the numbers, shown him the bank accounts. And our lifestyle has not changed so I think he is finally accepting it but still makes comments about not having a job. He retired on someone else's terms not his own. Thats the hard part. And I am still working. After he retired I talked to his dr about anti depressant/anxiety medication. it has helped. I try to be as supportive as possible and let him know this disease is not his fault. He has medical condition that no longer allows him to work. It continues to be a struggle.

Iris L.

Try volunteer work, if appropriate and possible. Such as assisting at a senior center or an animal shelter, or gardening work. The PWD should keep busy with appropriate failure-free activities. There is art work. Search for "I remember better when I paint."

Iris

SDianeL

Better to leave on his own than be asked to leave by the company. So sorry you are going through this.

l7pla1w2

Retiring can be difficult even for people without dementia. In my case, I was encouraged to retire because my high—level salary was hurting cashflow during a cash crunch. Truth to tell, the job had become less fun, so I was willing to depart. Still, I would have continued working if I would have enjoyed the work. After retiring, I missed the people and the intellectual challenges.

Iris L.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214609#Comment_214609

Keep in mind that PWDs lose the ability to initiate activities and to make decisions. Thus, they will need to be directed. Provide direction with subtlety and with validation.

Iris