Anger and meanness in mom

cutiecookie

I walked down this road 10 years ago with my daddy. It was so much fun I get a return trip with mom.

Only he didn't get mean and treat me like the red headed step child. Today was bad.

Really bad. She screamed and yelled and called me and my siblings names that would make a sailor blush.

Luckily I don't live with her but my 2 siblings do. We have a neuro appointment in Oct bc her last PC was worthless and wouldn't help us.

Her new PC thinks mom has dementia. Any tips on how to not go crazy before Oct???

Thanks.

H1235

Learning how to interact with a pwd is helpful, but it takes some time and a lot of effort to get use to. It’s very hard! I think part of it is accepting that you can not make her understand no matter how hard you try. It feels a bit like you’re giving up. Fib-lets are also helpful. Why tell her something (just to be honest) if it is going to send her into a rage? This is also hard to get use to. We have been taught to be honest by the very person we now need to lie to. It is something not all agree with. Even all this will probably not solve all your problems. Hopefully ease the tension a bit. I would make sure the new pc knows all about this angry behavior. He/she might be willing to prescribe a medication to help. She can’t feel comfortable being that angry. Good luck!

mabelgirl

I have my mom living with me and it’s only me. Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. The difference is she was diagnosed prior to coming to my house thus I was able to get her put on medication to help but it doesn’t get rid of it totally. She still wakes up yelling at me that I am stealing her money while she sleeps. Constantly calls me liar and thief. I have tried many different tactics to try to maintain sanity and my compassion for her. I take frequent walks for short breaks, I correct her behavior just for me as she really doesn’t take it in. I make jokes or just say ok. I remind myself it’s not her but her dementia speaking. She no longer has access to all brain cells and is making do with what she has. I now have a home companion coming 4x a week until I can move her into an AL facility. I viewed a video by Teepa Snow that gives a good explanation of what’s happening and why the foul language is so handy to a PWD.

cutiecookie

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69772/anger-and-meanness-in-mom

Thanks to both of y'all. Sometimes it's just soooo hard.

jlc105

I am glad I found this forum. I am an adult daughter caring for my father with BV-FTD from a distance. My sibling in another state will not help at all. It is amazing how much strain caring for an elderly parent with early FTD can strain the entire family. My dad says mean things and has no social awareness. Blurt out inappropriate and ungrateful things. He is mean. I know it is the disease but it is hard to take sometimes. I am in the medical arena and I am familiar that this is a disease but I have to take breaks and only text. I feel like the Laura Linney character in Love Actually, where her ill sibling is calling her all the time. I put my phone on DND after he screamed at me to shut up on the phone. I have disengaged with my siblings and all my family who refuse to help. I limiting my interaction with my dad.

cutiecookie

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214874#Comment_214874

I'm so sorry.