Not a good day, steeling myself

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69779/not-a-good-day-steeling-myself

M1, I am so heartbroken for you. It is extremely hard when you have come to a place where you cannot do anything to make things even a little better. One would think that some medication might make her less combative. I wonder how the staff in the MC facilities deal with these situations. I would be losing my mind trying to deal with the combativeness. It is hard enough when they are cooperative. You have done everything you can. Sometimes the best thing you need to do is walk away. I wish I had some words to comfort you.

JoseyWales

(((M1))) It must be so hard to watch her fight everything that's good for her. She's continued to do this for so long. I admire your strength and love.

Bebobra

@M1

You were there for me when I first posted here earlier this year and I have no wise words to offer you. Thank you for your encouragement to me and so many on this forum.

Prayers and hugs for you and your partner🌺

Palmetto Peg

I'm so sorry, M1. You have been a steadfast and loving caregiver for so long. I have admired the advice you give others, even during those times when you must be feeling overwhelmed. Others are right, her time will come no matter what you do or don't do. There is so little we have control over on this terrible road. Keep loving her and taking care of yourself, and what is meant to be will happen. Hugs and so many thanks for the wonderful advice you have given me!

clarinetist

M1,

So sorry to hear this latest news. Whatever your decision and whatever the outcome, know that you are a loving partner who wants only the best for your partner. ((M1))

Elshack

M1,

My heart breaks for you. You may have to turn over complete care to the MC staff and maybe they can give your loved one a sponge bath or use that waterless body cleanser that can be applied only to a few strategic areas. You have gone above and beyond the very best care for your loved companion. I can't remember if hospice has been called in and if so, they will advise you re: feeding , bathing etc. You are doing the best you can and maybe a quick visit will suffice. This situation is a Catch 22. I know before I entered stage 8 last Nov. I was praying he would pass away and on the other hand hoped that if he would eat more, gain some weight etc. his life would be prolonged. Only a person who has a loved one with dementia can understand the myriad of emotions we experience.

You have always been such a supportive member and many times your posts had helped me through some horrible times. My journey is over and I pray yours will soon be. It is not selfish to think of your own mental and physical well being.

Elshack

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69779/not-a-good-day-steeling-myself

Elshack

M1, I had just sent another post but it didn't go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved one. Perhaps it is time to turn over all care to the MC ( is Hospice part of the care? ) They could use wipes or that waterless cleansing soap to take care of her needs. You may have to limit your visits and not try to coax her to eat. This is such a catch-22. I am in stage 8 but I well remember praying my DH would pass away and yet on the other hand hope that his appetite would return and he would live.

You have always been such a help to me on this site and gave me comforting advice when I was going through some terrible times. I am teary eyed just thinking of you and hope you make your mental and physical health a priority. You have done all you can for your loved one. I pray she will pass peacefully

Elshack

Oh, I see the first post I sent did eventually go through. Sending heartfelt wishes to you and your dear one.

M1

As always your words buoy me up and comfort me. They found her sitting on the floor again last night. Yes, this needs to be over.

Belle

Sorry to hear about the latest events @M1 . You have provided amazing care for your wife (and all of us here too). From the beginning to the bitter end dementia is so cruel to everyone involved. I hope that both you and your DW have a short and peaceful journey to the end of this disease. You both deserve some peace.

AnderK

I wish I had words, but again, others have said it best. I am with you in spirit. Kathy