DH in hospital, update

Belle

Now that I have a minute to sit down I thought I'd share the rest of the story surrounding DH's hospitalization. I have thought about not sharing the following information but I've decided to share it, maybe for support or to hear someone say that they have experienced something similar because my hands are tied legally and it's very stressful. (Adding that there is no way I can get him declared incompetent yet, someone in the medical community that he interacts with has to intervene).

DH is still in the hospital and may be released early this week. He refused to go to an in patient wound care center or SNF and as I've mentioned before I can't legally force him to do so. The VA is paying for home health and it's being slowly approved. But here's the twist, he is planning on not coming home but instead he said he's staying in a property he owns (out of state and nearer to where he is hospitalized) that is under renovation. I have reported to the social worker that the place he is planning on staying in is under construction. That information is in the notes in his hospital record along with the notes about him having cognitive issues. The property is his and I have never been there. He was asked if he wanted to be sent home for wound care and he also refused that option too. I have talked to him multiple times and he flat out is refusing any option that is safe and logical. Luckily this is now all documented in his records.

At this point my next hope is that the home health agency reports his living conditions to someone that can do something to help get him declared incompetent so I can 'spring' his health care directive. Maybe they can force him back in the hospital and I can somehow get him moved to long term care. The other shoe is going to drop at some point but I can't figure out how many hospital stays it's going to take before a doctor is finally willing to sign off on the competency problems. I plan to make more phone calls tomorrow but I'm starting to feel like a hamster running in a wheel and getting no where.

Joe C.

Belle, Sorry you are going down this unnecessary path trying to get the health care directive signed off. I know how frustrating this can be as DW’s PCP would not sign her’s when she needed surgery and initially the surgeon would not do the surgery because DW was too compromised to sign the consent forms. After a lot of back and forth (including me getting a copy of the MA state law concerning physician sign off on the health care proxy and showing it to the surgeon), the surgeon finally agreed to sign the document. I think the doctors are worried about getting sued if they sign these documents.

Denise1847

Hi Belle,

It sounds like you have a limited power of attorney that only kicks in when the person is incompetent. A general POA would give you immediate power. Have you consulted an attorney?

JDancer

Is your DH capable of getting himself to the property under construction?

When things get really bad (every couple of months) at my house, my husband will say, "I'll just leave and go somewhere else." He occasionally gets as far as the back porch, before realizing he can't get anywhere on his own.

Belle

Our general POA's are durable (non-springing) but our healthcare directives which name me as his healthcare POA are springing. This was all set up by a CELA recently. The lawyer never mentioned making our healthcare directives durable so I wasn't aware it was an option. Other POA's, where I was named and acted as the health care proxy, were also springing and we never had an issue so I didn't even realize this could happen.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/215164#Comment_215164

Yes, he is. The property under renovation is not that far from where he is in the hospital and last time he had the hospital staff call an uber for him (again against my wishes to have him released to home vs a rehab). I don't know how he manages to do things like that but he does. He is very stubborn, someone used the word obstinate on a previous post and that describes him to a "T", even before these issues began if he dug in there was no changing his mind. I think we are still in a phase where he is cognizant enough to start things and cause chaos but not cognizant enough to execute most things successfully. Trying times for sure.

ButterflyWings

For the record, I would send a short email requesting that he not be released to home or his own recognizance due to compromised cognition. Note the patient safety issues previously articulated and that have landed him back in the ER and hospital following your request as spouse and POA being disregarded before. Ask that no ride share or transportation be called for him, which enables a vulnerable person with cognitive and physical medical issues to be further endangered.

I would email it to:

• the head nurse (our forum mates will correct me on the terminology),
• the social worker
• and his lead Dr. on staff there,
• and cc the Board of Directors Chairperson, ombudsman, Hospital Director (or lead administrator)

If you have a relationship with an attorney or law office that you can cc as well, I'd do that for good measure.

Cover your bases. They may still disregard but it is harder to do so once it is in writing. And when the isht hits the fan for him as it inevitably will, you will have proof that you tried valiantly to protect him.

JDancer

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/215189#Comment_215189

This is excellent advice.