Brown Bottom

MarDel0917

My BF 45yo EOA has stopped wiping his butt after #2. Which leave marks in his boxers. He says he doesn't know how it gets there.

Any suggestions???

We are all in this together 💜

CindyBum

Not an issue I have, yet, but there was a really good conversation about bidets a week or so ago. Some folks have had some success with that.

M1

at some point it’s going to come down to you helping him with bathroom hygiene. If he can’t wipe he almost certainly couldn’t use a bidet on his own.

Babz0226

I have been wiping my DH for 1 year come next month, he looks for me now to help him. I would say to try and offer to help early in the game that's what I did and he did get used to me helping him.

jfkoc

On the other hand he could use so much toilet paper that the toilet stops up. First hand experience with that.

Maybe some dark patterned briefs???

I would go hmmmmm…and then say It will wash out. No discussion will help.

JDancer

If there's stool on the underwear, there's stool on the skin, which can lead to breakdown. I agree with M1.

Jeanne C.

Also agree with M1. The only way I was able to fix it was to handle his wiping. They get to a point where the process of using the bathroom is beyond their ability (just like showering or any multistep process). We're all taught that using the bathroom is private so that may discourage him from asking for help, so be matter-of-fact about it (or clinical) and reassure him that it's ok.

MarDel0917

Thanks y'all!!!!!

aaronlovesdiane

Our bidet uses a remote control. She has never used it herself. It's awesome.

Here it is, I think Costco has sold about a million of these:

https://www.costco.com/.product.4000230218.html

Elshack

In addition to you helping him wipe himself, I would suggest buying those grey pull on Depends for men. I just switched to those and when my DH was at that stage I just said I wanted to cut down on my washing

tigersmom

@MarDel0917 , get yourself some unscented wipes from Amazon or the drugstore. I am in the same boat; this has been a problem for a while. I am just now starting to intervene. I do try to time his showers for after a BM, but that doesn’t always work. This became a problem for my DH in stage 5.

harshedbuzz

It’s time he had assistance in the bathroom. You are about to become a member of the “Blue Glove Club”. This is part of the disease progression and a warning to be on the lookout for other losses around toileting etiquette— hand washing, flushing, proper tissue disposal. Wipes are great, but no matter what the package says, they are in no way “flushable”.

HB

ImMaggieMae

Definitely go into the bathroom with him and take over the wiping duties. I started around 2 years ago when urinary incontinence started and there was the very occasional bowel issue. A couple stopped up toilet issues, one on the day before Christmas when he tried to flush a depends, convinced me. Be matter of fact, no big deal. I sit in the bathroom and talk with him about other things. Now in stage late 6, early 7 with full incontinence I’m glad I did. He’s mostly non-verbal but will often tap my arm and point in the direction of the bathroom.

FTDCaregiver1

Going on 3 years now with DW, I use adult pullup diapers and wipes when changing her. Watch out for skin problems, cleaning is important. Initially when starting this, I had to redirect her with treats until I got into a routine with her.