Suggestions please

jacquegarcia80

my g.m. In law is the one I am helping to take care of. She is 75 and getting more age spots. She believes she is being abused when she sees them and thinks they are bruises. Any suggestions on how to deal with false abuse claims?

concerned_sister

Hello jacquegarcia80, welcome to here. Unfortunately what your grandmother is experiencing does not sound uncommon. There is a wealth of knowledge and experience here. I'd suggest you look under Groups (it should be clickable at the side of this screen), and under groups you will find information for folks who are new here. Others with more experience will be along to provide their insights. As I understand it, best practices are to never try to reason with someone with a broken reasoner. Support them emotionally (address the concerns in a sympathetic way, but don't argue the fact of whether or not it occurred), and divert them (let me try this new cream on you…I could really use something to drink, why don't we go to…). And YAY! for you, stepping up to try to help your G.M. in law the best you can.

jacquegarcia80

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/215335#Comment_215335

Thank you. It’s not easy hearing that I hurt her. I know I shouldn’t take it personally but I do. Her doctor had said to not explain to her. I just honestly feel bad leaving her confused and I know the more you explain the worse it can be.

Phoenix1966

Welcome, but sorry that you had to find your way here. It really hurts when a LO accuses us of misdeeds we didn’t do. Unfortunately, there is no reasoning with her. You could film her all day and then show her the video the next day and she wouldn’t believe that nothing happened. She would say it was an old video, you edited it, etc. There will never be an “Ah ha” moment when it clicks for her. And that is such a struggle to accept.

As your doctor and @concerned_sister mentioned, there is no point in trying to make her see the light. Best to just say something like, “I’m so sorry you were bruised.” And then offer to rub lotion on her, saying something about how older skin can be more delicate and then redirect her to something pleasant like fixing her a snack, taking her for a walk or whatever she seems to enjoy most doing right now.