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thinking of her

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  • Caro_Lynne
    Caro_Lynne Member Posts: 371
    100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments First Anniversary
    Member

    Thanks for the reminder; need to hear that.xo

  • Carmen M
    Carmen M Member Posts: 35
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Likes
    Member

    Miss everything about my loved one. How we went camping, watching him play sports, yes have intelligent conversations, enjoying meals together and socializing with our friends. like many others, we have a quiet and uneventful existence. We have our daily routine and that's about it. I also feel guilty when I want time away for myself. I have a caregiver 3x a week for four hours each day. I thought it would allow me to have some private time but not always the case. Now the three of us do things together away from the house. my loved one wants me around and when I am gone….he watches the clock.

    Keep the faith everyone!! We are all AMAZING

  • JC5
    JC5 Member Posts: 170
    100 Comments 100 Care Reactions Second Anniversary 25 Likes
    Member

    I miss having someone to lean on and care about me ! Wow! This beast takes so much away for everyone affected!

  • mathreader
    mathreader Member Posts: 49
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    Member

    I often think of that. Thanks for your thoughts

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 967
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    I miss traveling in our RV. We traveled 20 years. I miss him. I miss us. Although I live with my daughter I’m lonely.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 857
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes
    Member

    For me, it's the sister things we did together, and won't ever do again. There were many.

    The big one that popped into my head when I saw this thread was barrel tasting. It happens the first two weekends in March. Peggy would make the hotel reservations, and I'd scan the list and plan which new wineries looked promising. Then off we'd go to wine country.

    Peggy was very into barrel tasting (I'd never heard of it until she clued me in), and she learned a lot about wine from that. It's really fun, and quite the big deal if you're a winery. The winemakers put out barrels of whatever they're making, and you get to taste what's in the barrel. Ask as many questions as you like - the winemakers love talking about their wine. The wine still has at least a year and a half of aging to go, but you can get a pretty good idea of what it's going to taste like in its finished form. So you buy wine "futures" - maybe 6 bottles of whatever at a heavily discounted price. Then you wait.

    I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do this again, fun as it is. Peggy passed away this last March - right before the second weekend of barrel tasting. Since she was stage 7, I'm sure she had no idea of time and dates.

  • LindaLouise
    LindaLouise Member Posts: 99
    100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments
    Member

    So many things to miss! I miss the guy who could repair anything and kept everything running. I miss the grandad who adored his grandkids, and so do they! I miss the dad my adult children have lost, and the partner who was always up for another adventure with me. I found some directions he wrote, along with carefully cut out wooden pieces, for a wooden ferry boat for our kids to make when they were younger. Reading his words, noticing the clarity and specificity of his directions, made me realize how long it has been since that guy was around. My DH and I have been married for 46 years, since we were 22, and I miss being a part of a couple! I see couples walking, talking, holding hands, everywhere I look, and it can bring tears to my eyes. I can't imagine ever finding someone who will be that person for me again - a lifetime of shared memories, raising our 4 kids and being smitten anew every time a new grandbaby appears. Its not that I hate being alone, but I hate being without him. I know every couple will face one person "leaving" first, but this prolonged sadness, the losing while caregiving, and the loss of the person while they go through this final journey - all so heartbreaking. Since I haven't lost a spouse suddenly, I don't know if this is worse, but it seems to be so sad for so long…

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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