Fine, I'll cave ...
After 3 messes and running out of plastic bags I will cane and join the Blue Glove Club.
I did learn this morning that I CAN clean the mess (corner of toilet, remove lid, wash sink and counter, hands 10,000 times get him showered and dressed and make it to work with one minute to spare.)
Sit back and enjoy the read...
My BF (45yo EOA) woke up. I usually direct home to the bathroom, turn on the light lift the lid "pull down your pants and sit down and go potty (... he is only groggy on the morning ???) He said he didn't have to go then all of the sudden he got a sharp pain and bent over. I rushed him to go potty "hurry hurry sit down!" He hovers over the toilet ... farts, I see a plop of poo on the seat. "Babe sit down!!" " I'm trying", he says! More poo comes out, "babe sit!!! Wait don't sit!!!" No no don't sit!!!" (In my head thinking oh my gosh he is gonna sit in it and it's gonna smear oh my gosh it's still coming out!!!) I am in full mode yelling in panic mode! PLOP!!!! He finishes, pulls his pants up and im like OH MY GOSH!!! HOW CAN A BIG PILE COME OUT AT ONCE!! After gagging, yelling to him to get out of the bathroom, gagging until my eyes water I run to my bathroom place Vicks under my nose, mask up and grab my cleaning supplies and I get to work cleaning and gagging. (BTW thank you SOOOO MUCH to whoever said spraying shaving cream makes it better.) By the end of the cleaning I was laughing to myself. I had to find humor somewhere. Told him I was sorry for yelling and freaking out. I now wish and know that I should have just had him sit down in the poo. Maybe then I could have avoided a shitty start to my morning .... literally. 🤣
We are all in this together 💜
Comments
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OMG, This is a sad/funny post. Thank you for sharing. Please tell me about the shaving cream as we haven't gotten to that point yet and I am terrified of how I will be able to handle it.
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Oh my! Been there, done that, and it often involved a toilet auger in the wee hours of the morning, too. At least you can find the humor in the situation. Without humor I think we caregivers would all go insane.
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I did laugh. Your description was spot on. I haven’t quite reached that point, but I have had a few easier cleanups. I’m curious about the shaving cream as well.
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Welcome to the POOOOOO PATROL! Certainly know it wasn't funny at the time you we're in battle but you handle it like a champ! 😲
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We have to see the humor, even if only after the fact. I walked in the bathroom only to find DW with poo running down both legs and the floor covered with poo as far as I could see. Our daughter lives about a half mile away. I sent her the now classic text, "Shit everywhere…HELP". She responded and we did the cleanup. It wasn't funny at the time but we now laugh over it. Got to find humor where you can. It keeps up going.
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you also need hydrogen peroxide in your arsenal….
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Judith, what do you use it for? I use it to gargle and clean cuts.
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it is a great clean up sanitizer!
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Praying to God that I will be able to laugh about this if we have a day like that.
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Welcome to the club. I’m sorry you have to be here. We have a whole arsenal of several different kinds of wet wipes, paper towels, plastic bags, and yes, shaving cream. Scrubzz rinse free bathing wipes finish it off when getting him into the shower isn’t practical. I’ve found the key is to keep him standing, holding on to a bathroom grab bar, while I clean the major parts. The hardest part is keeping as much poop off the toilet seat as possible while he is trying to sit down. Staying calm for him is the key. He didn’t ask for any of this. Thankfully, he doesn’t realize most of what’s going on and it’s forgotten very quickly.
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