Can Anyone share positive stories of your LO moving to Memory Care?

yearofthedragon

I am curious to hear positive stories about Memory Care, if anyone here has any? I am waiting on that phone call from MC to move my mom into the facility. Mom is having big delusions that really stress her out at home and I wonder if she will benefit from the activities and positive distractions at MC ( I am trying to be positive here) Anyone here moved a LO into memory care and it went well after a while, or they had some sort of increase in happiness or quality of life after moving there?

machelriller

Yes, I would be happy to share my positive story. I moved my dad to memory care in September. At the time, I was sick to my stomach thinking about moving him out of his home of 40 years, taking him away from his beloved garden, thinking that he wasn't advanced enough to be in memory care and would hate the activities, that he would figure out what we had done and hate us forever… and I have to say that nothing has been farther from the truth.

The move-in day was really tough and my dad somewhat caught on and wanted to leave. The staff advised me to stay away for two weeks and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know he complained a lot during that time and asked to go home.

But now my dad is thriving in memory care. He has friends. He is less advanced than many of the residents, but on par with a lot of them. He is constantly engaged in activities - balloon volleyball, stretching exercises, sing-a-longs, live music, art projects. He was a teacher early in his career and he reads out activities for the other residents. They do weekly "scenic drives" where they take some of the residents out for lunch or treats (they've been to get ice cream, hibachi, donuts, etc). There is a beautiful courtyard that he can access on nice days, and I will often do gardening days with him where we plant in the standing beds.

At home, when he was living with my brother, he had his familiar things that he loved. But he spent all day moving items around the house and garden, mostly alone. My brother would set him up with a jigsaw puzzle and he would work on it for hours alone. He was obsessed with watching the news and it would scare him (he thought Putin was invading his town). My brother might have taken him out to go for a nature walk or the plant store once or twice a week, and he would have other friends or family visit maybe once or twice a month. Not to mention the fact that the house was in disrepair (we found black mold and dead animals in the basement while preparing to sell!).

His life is a lot fuller now, and he doesn't remember his home at all. Moving him was the most excruciating decision and it took me months to come to peace with it, and sometimes now I'm even still distressed, but it was absolutely the best decision for him and his quality of life.

Emily 123

My mom is much better supported in her MC. She initially started out in a dementia focused AL, but once they lost their RN and never replaced her, the quality of care rapidly decreased and she was not well-supported.

At her MC she's allowed to participate as much or as little as she wants, her frame of mind is better, there's better feedback with the staff and director, and they know her better, plus there's more focus on her as a person. I wish I had moved her earlier.

psg712

My mom is doing much better in MC than she had been in AL. The layout of the facility is simpler, the activities are better geared to folks with dementia with no pressure to participate. There is a smaller population of residents and fewer visitors/vendors/groups in and out, so much less stimulating and confusing for her. Staff are available and attentive, and they know she can't distinguish a toothbrush from a hairbrush, so they help before she is overly frustrated.

Backtrack about two years ago, when mom initially moved from her own home in another state to the AL near me. It took only a couple of weeks before I could answer the folks who asked "don't you feel bad about making your mom leave her own place?" with a resounding "no,I feel bad that I didn't do it sooner." Her need for the structure, support and safety of the facility was so evident at that point. True x 100 now at MC.

I wish your mom a good transition. You are doing the best you can for her.

M1

While my partner's experience in MC has been difficult in some regards and her adjustment not an easy one, there is still no question at all for me that it was the right decision, the only decision. It's almost impossible to describe how important the protected, controlled environment is until you experience it. And the constant supervision by multiple people, not a single overworked and overwhelmed caregiver.

yearofthedragon

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/216178#Comment_216178

Thank you