Long Distance daughter but in town son

lindalucci2

Hello, I am writing because I live over a thousand miles away from my mom who was recently diagnosed with dementia. I have been there twice in 6 months to get her settled in a facility, visit, etc. My brother lives about 2 miles away from her but does not go to see her very much. And every time I call her, she’s very upset that he hasn’t come to visit, but I don’t know what to say to her. I feel very badly about this but I will not bash my brother to her (even though I may want to).
How can I handle this? What can I say to her to make her not be so upset?

Thank you so much for your help, this is so hard.

terei

You cant make her feel better about it. Distracting her will be more productive. I would also encourage your brother to try to visit more often. My brother was not in great financial condition + I asked him to take mom out to lunch once a week + I would pay for it, which I did.I sent him a couple hundred dollars a month to cover gas + lunches. He was very faithful in doing this + it did not strain his already tenuous finances.

I also hired a companion that visited her 2-3 times a month. She took mom to lunch, thrift shops, on walks, etc + mom got very attached to her. I was far away most of the year

lindalucci2

thank you so much for your response, I sometimes feel so alone in this. Your tips are perfect, I will look into a companion for her and try to speak with my brother to maybe come up with a plan.

Thank you again!

Linda