You don't like me much anymore

AnderK

Hello, all.

I have been ill with 4 or 5 recurring this past 4 months (seeing a urologist in early August). This week it was really bad. Not the usual painful symptoms, but so cold I couldn't stop shaking and shivering, and then feeling dizzy. Again to Urgent care..Again with antibiotics. This time I slept for 4 straight hours two days in a row...not counting the 4 hours of usual sleep at night. Body said stop. I didn't, haven't, can't.

The problem besides the obvious one, is that I just have no dissembling tools at my disposal and I can't seem to find them anywhere. My frustration is clearly visible to him. The umpteenth time he asked me when my friend was coming to visit (tomorrow), how long is she staying (a week), no one told me that, why don't you sit down, you don't like me any more (perhaps), how much money do I have, no one told me that. Only half of today's questions.

Tonight he was finding miracle cures on his phone, when he called my name in a low voice, and when I self corrected the tone of my WHAT, he told me there were people staring at him through the outside door and main window... our main floor is on the second floor of our house…I went out on the deck and twirled around with my arms outstretched and said see, no one here. His response... they are still people there staring at me. I shut the door, closed the shades on one of the prettiest moons and nights of the summer as the end of an Alanis Morissette concert was ending across the river from us, with "crowds go wild" cheering.

As I did that, my thoughts were that the shade closing was symbolic of my life these days. Slowly shutting the shades, one window at a time, on so many of the good aspects of my life. Bit by bit. Day by day. Hour by hour.

Update: I wrote the above last Friday night. Today is Monday night. And even with my friend bringing her cheer into my home, and uplifting my spirits, I think the above is accurate. Tomorrow I hope to reach out to a possible non agency caregiver to see if she might be a possibility. Meanwhile, good night friends.

M1

Kathy, so sorry you are sick, that does make everything harder. Did you realize it's a big deal that he's delusional/ hallucinating? You did not convince him that the people weren't real- they are real to him. Long way of saying that you should probably let his doc know this is happening. These delusions are usually unpleasant, and he may benefit from an antipsychotic to tone them down. Won't solve everything, but it may make life more tolerable for both of you...