Finding local support group

TerriV

Hi, I’m reaching out because I don’t know how to handle my husband‘s denial any longer. He’s 64 years old and will not see a doctor but has had for the past 10 years memory loss to the point of the past year of not knowing where things are or what he spoke of, every single day. I tried to address it with him. He gets angry and lashes out
I need to talk to people who have experienced these situations. I need guidance. I’m in Northwest Florida in the panhandle.

beachbum

Hi and welcome, I am in the panhandle also. My DH is 57 and has EOAD diagnosed via PET in March. He just recently went on sick leave ( to be permanent) and I stopped the driving. He had memory issues for about 8 yrs and cognitive for about 4-5. He would get mad at first that I was pointing out the slip ups but finally agreed to find the cause. I realize this is not the case for you and there are others that will have much better advice, but we are in the same area and feel free to message me if you want to vent to someone close or I can give you the doctors we have used to get diagnosed. I have not found any support groups or anything in our area. Read the threads from others, it will help and let you know you’re not alone.

Take care

clarinetist

To find a local support group with the Alzheimer’s Association google Community Resource Finder, click on AA Programs and Events, click Alzheimer’s Support Groups and put in your zip code. Then hit search. Any AA support groups in your area should be there.

You can also call the helpline at 800-272-3900 and they can help you find one.

fmb

Another source of local dementia caregiver support groups is memory care facilities. These groups are often open to the public. I personally found a general caregiver support group sponsored by my DH's hospice care provider. Nearly all of the attendees are caring for a loved one with dementia. Some of the loved ones are in a facility, others at home. This group is also open to the general public. Call around in your area.

In my opinion, this forum is the best support group I could ask for. No topics regarding dementia and caregiving are off limits. Posting nearly always generates responses within hours. Members here are knowledgeable about all aspects of caregiving from personal experience. Feel free to ask questions, vent, rage and grieve. This community is here for you.

SDianeL

call his primary doctor and ask for help. I got a referral to a Neurologist. I never mentioned the visit was for memory loss. I never said dementia or Alzheimer’s. Once he was diagnosed and put on medication I told him they were pills to help his brain. I live in Tampa. My husband is now in memory care.

M1

Welcome to the forum. These situations are always difficult. Educate yourself about anosognosia: he's not in denial, he really can't appreciate that anything is wrong, and telling him he's not thinking straight will just make him mad. You have to learn workarounds. You are in charge now, and have to learn how to accomplish things without expecting him to cooperate. It changes your relationship, but it's the reality.

There are important legal things you need to do as well as medical. You're correct that in an ideal world he should have some evaluation to rule out a few treatable things that can mimic dementia. But you need to talk to the doc ahead of time and tell them your concerns, in detail. Then you tell him it's a new Medicare/insurance requirement that he be seen or he'll lose his insurance. You don't tell him the real reason for the appointment. Maybe you make appointments for both of you on the same day. Hopefully you have HIPPA privileges where the doc can talk to you confidentially about his care. If not, you can always tell them your concerns, but they may not be able to respond to you in kind until HIPPA paperwork is signed.

Legally, you will need to hold durable power of attorney for him for healthcare and finances, and you need to think ahead about how you will finance it if he needs care in assisted living or memory care in the future. you may need to qualify him for Medicaid. Certified elder law attorneys can help with all of this, look at nelf.org for lists by location.

hopefully this can get you started. If you look to the right under Quick Links and Groups, there is one for new members with a lot of useful information.

TerriV

Thank you all so much! I appreciate 🧡

JDancer

I second everything M1 said. And I'll add a caveat about driving. If your husband is still driving, you must stop him. Work arounds (fiblets) may be required to make this happen. It can be complicated, so you may want to search specific conversations on this topic.

I've found this forum more helpful than local support groups. The people here are kind and knowledgeable.