Emotional Intelligence and One Other "Weird" Quirk

Daisie

I'll be completely calm and basically lethargic (since I'm always exhausted), and my mom with MD will suddenly snap at me about how "wound up" and nervous I am and that I'm making her crazy. She won't let it go. By then, I usually AM wound up and nervous! I know that it's important for her sake that I don't get overly stressed and snappy, but it seems like even if I'm calm, cool, and collected, she'll accuse me of being in a bad mood. So after a while, I feel like it doesn't matter how I'm feeling because she's gonna think what she's gonna think anyway.

I'm also noticing something that I think is weird but may be completely normal regarding MD. She constantly misidentifies people by the wrong gender. She'll say, "Oh, what a darling little girl," when it's clearly a little boy, and vice versa. It's worse with adults. There will be someone who's clearly male, and she'll ask me if it's a woman. I don't know if it's eyesight or part of the MD or both!

psg712

I believe you are correct ... "she's gonna think what she's gonna think" regardless of your input. It's still a good goal to remain calm, but you are also human. Be kind to yourself. This is hard.

I will try to apply "they're gonna think what they're gonna think" to the various friends and family in my life who do all they can to explain away the evidence of my mom's advancing dementia! I allow their viewpoint to frustrate me too easily.

dancsfo

I get asked by PWD on identifying the gender of a person on TV and it has been increasing in frequency. Being hard of hearing, I think other cues like the voice isn't working well either.