Update

White Crane

As I posted last week, DH is now in a greipsych unit about thirty miles from here. I haven't gone to see him as I think it would just upset him since he would want me to take him home. They have been very good about keeping me updated. So far, the Dr. has increased his Depakote, taken him off Trazadone and put him on Seroquel. He said the Depakote doage he was on was not even close to being a therapeutic dosage. The nurse told me DH is doing well during the morning but when the sundowing starts in the afternoon he becomes confused and disoriented and asks for his parents or sometimes about someone taking his Christmas presents. I feel so sad for him. At the same time, I feel very depressed. The man I knew is almost gone and yet he is still the love of my life.

I visited the MC yesterday to make sure he would still be able to come back once he is discharged. They said he would. The DON also told me that he had hit one of the staff last Thursday night. I nearly cried when I heard that. He has never been a violent person. I am praying the geri-psych Dr. can get his meds adjusted so he can feel some peace.

Joe C.

Brenda, Sending hugs, prayers & positive thoughts. I hope they are successful on getting him on the correct medication regimen.

M1

glad to hear the update, sounds like positive steps. So hard I know. Grieving with you.

ThisLife

Sending positive thoughts your way. I too got to the "I just want him to have some peace." Heartbreaking.

Dio

Brenda, you're describing almost exactly what happened to my DH. He's doing really well now with 125mg of Depakote 3x/day with 100mg seroquel 3x/day. It took maybe 2 months for meds to fully peak. He has completely forgotten about screaming at and kicking out his roommate, which forced him to be in a private room now, and that he had kicked and punched a staff sending her to the ER. When I got the call that night, I was literally frozen from panic.

However, with him behaving so normal now, the dichotomy I'm dealing with is whether I should bring him home. Everyone is telling me with a resounding "nooooo!" I don't visit for the very reason of not wanting to trigger his aggression and wanting to go home. LBD is too unpredictable and I'm still reeling from PTSD during the stretch when Mr. Hyde appeared fearing for my own safety. This heartache never ends.

Wishing you a smooth outcome.

clarinetist

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70105/update

Brenda, this is so hard. Hopefully they will find the right combo of medications so like Dio’s husband, your husband will find calm and return to his memory care. I’m right with you on this path. My husband has definitely changed, and sometimes it feels as though I’m seeing the little boy he once was. It’s heartbreaking when they can’t figure out where they are or what they should do. ❤️

M1

Dio, I completely understand the thinking/wishing you could brjng him home. But geez, if you can't even visit, i would agree that it's inadvisable to even consider it. So sorry.

mrahope

Just wanting you to know I'm thinking of you. I bet it feels like a "slow motion catastrophe", but glad there is some hope.

Rocky2

Brenda, Thank you for pushing through the pain to love and advocate for your DH. The depth of your committed love is evident. When you love deeply, you also hurt deeply. Remember that you are not alone. Rather, you are part of a family of caregivers who walk similar journeys and care for you. ((Hugs)).

Tom

White Crane

Thank you all for your care and support…and virtual hugs. It helps. The social worker at the geri-psych unit called yesterday and said they were going to send DH back to MC on Wednesday. She said he is responding to the medication very well and is having less trouble in the afternoons. She also said they would work out the transportation with the MC. The social worker at the MC called today and said they have no way to transport him because their driver is in the hospital. She wanted me to pick him up tomorrow and bring him back to MC. I balked at this. First of all, I have been sick for about a week and not feeling up to it. Second, I was worried about what would happen when we got to MC and he figured out he was not going home. He also gets road rage and used to yell at other drivers and want me to honk at them and cut them off if they were speeding. Long story short, after a couple of more calls to and from both places, the geri-psych unit has agreed to take him back to MC Thursday morning. It is about a forty-five minute drive. Then they called and said DH was confused and would I talk to him on the phone. I agreed, reluctantly. He just wanted to come home and for us to be together. He can't understand what has happened and there is no way I can explain it to him. The conversation wore me out and left him sad. Doggone it! Can't anything be easy!

M1

Brenda I'm glad you're letting them handle the transportation ( they want hjm discharged bad enough, they'll figure it out). Overall it's good news. Wait until you feel better to go visit. Have you tested for covid? Its rampant right now…