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Family counseling for transition to assisted living for L.O.

Chris20cm
Chris20cm Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

Experiencing conflict and resistance from family and spouse, who is in middle stages of dementia. What are the best resources for this.

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  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    welcome to the forum Chris. Family counseling may help the family, but it won’t help the loved one. The hard bottom line is that the person who holds power of attorney makes the decision. If no one does, that’s the first thing to settle with a certified elder law attorney. Unfortunately family conflict over these issues is pretty common, and consensus doesn’t always happen.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,479
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    Dad was seen at a memory center which offered social workers trained around this kind of conflict. Ordinarily, the PWD isn't included in the decision making as they generally don't have the understanding of the impact of their illness on their caregiver because anosognosia and lack of empathy nor would they have the reasoning skills to follow the arguments for nor the short-term memory to recall the discussion. At the end of the day, it's the POA/guardian's call to make although there may be consequences from adult children/steps/siblings in play.

    The NYT recently did a piece on this kind of conflict. This should be a gifted link to copy & paste into your browser.


    https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/13/health/elder-care-family-mediators.html?unlocked_article_code=1.A04.zBCj.ZYfc4nlvNo5b&smid=url-share

    Good luck.
    HB

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 967
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    you could give all the family members a copy of the book “The 36 Hour Day” and make a list of ALL the LO’s behaviors and share it with them. Bottom line if they aren’t willing to care for the person 24/7 they have no say in my opinion. Does someone have DPOA?

  • Crushed
    Crushed Member Posts: 1,463
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    Experiencing conflict and resistance from family and spouse, who is in middle stages of dementia. What are the best resources for this.

    Don't listen to those who think they know your situation better than you do. Caregiving kills caregivers. I made the placement decision SEVEN years ago DW gets excellent care in her facility. You have to take care of yourself

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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