Emotions all over the map

LetstalkAlz

I am new to this. DH has EO. We are in the 6th since diagnosis.In the last year he has really declined I am helping him with everything feeding,dressing, it is so difficult watching your spouse of 47 years wither to nothing. I feel like I have been in mourning since day of diagnosis. I feel so alone. I now will have a carer that comes to do baths and hygiene care. This was my time of frustration because DH wouldn’t participate and deep down I wanted him to just be stubborn but I know he couldn’t understand. I cry a lot and at times just say I can’t do this anymore. But I know I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I love him so much

White Crane

Hello LetstalkAlz and welcome to the forum that nobody wants to be on. Everyone here understands what you are going through and will try our best to help you and reassure you. Post often and ask lots of questions. You said you are in your 6th year since diagnosis. Have you gotten your financial affairs in order and durable power of attorney for healthcare and finances? If not, please contact an elderlaw attorney soon as this is vitally important. I'm glad you are having an aide come in to help with hygiene and bathing. Try to relax during those times and let the aide handle things. You said you feel like you have been in mourning since he diagnosis. This is called ambiguous grief. That's a big word that means we are grieving the loss of our loved one and the life we had together while they are still with us. It's hard. We all cry. I wish it were different. You sound like a wonderful and loving wife and caregiver. Sending hugs.

Brenda

SDianeL

so sorry you are going through this. We understand how you feel. We mourn the loss of what was. I miss him. I miss us. Your DH is lucky to have you. Hugs

CindyBum

I feel for you and all of us going through this. I've had only brief moments when I don't cry a lot, I'm worn out and worried I can't go on, but my love for my DW is so deep, I get up and do it all again day after day….just like you.

I'm sorry you have to be here with us, but we do understand.

Karen711

LetsTalkAlz- you’ve made it here, and you’ll find support here. This is hard beyond words or human tolerance, it seems. Tears come, and go, and come again. Yet somehow we are here and hanging in as best we can. I call it “grieving what you have not lost” , your person is here, but day by day huge essences of who they’ve been *$%& away, falling to the disease. Constantly taking us by surprise with each new turn. I find the loneliness of the loss crushing. And we can’t share this with our loved one, which conjures up a multitude of mixed feelings. So we are able to share it here. I feel your grief and overwhelm and send you my best wishes to you in this moment. Sorry you’re going through this but glad you’ve found this group.
Hugs,

Karen

Crushed

I feel like I have been in mourning since day of diagnosis. I feel so alone.

When I hit that 6th year wall DW was 64 The anger and sadness and despair inside me was killing me. She was the love of my life for over 40 years. I got counseling and medical help. When she descended to psychosis and aggressive over the next I knew it was time for placement . Don't listen to those who think they know your situation better than you do. Caregiving kills caregivers. That was SEVEN years ago DW gets excellent care in her facility. You have to take care of yourself