Moving mother from AL facility in Texas to Western NY area facility

mtrollope

Hello,

This is my first discussion post ever. Hope this works okay. I currently live in Ontario, Canada on near the Niagara Falls area. I grew up in TX which is where my mother is currently in an AL facility. She has indicated that she wants to be closer to her family here in Canada so after some research, I figure this area is a good spot for her - being closer to us, but not out of the US. She has been diagnosed with dementia and does sundown a couple of times a week in the evening. I would guess she is in the middle to later stages of her dementia. I am looking for a facility for her that would ideally, be no more than an hour from us. I know from experience that no facility is going to be perfect, but I am trying to find the best place I can, just to ease the transition on her (and me!). Does anyone have suggestions for places that have both AL and memory care. Because she is in the middle/early later stages, if feel like finding a place with the right level of care as well as the potential for growing accommodations would be very helpful. I wouldn't want to move her and then have to turn around and do it again as she advances, at the same time, I want her to enjoy herself and feel some sense of independence as long as possible. I would really appreciate any input regarding this move as we as facilities in the WNY area!

SusanB-dil

Hi mtrollope - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Others may weigh in with more suggestion, but you could start by researching out a few places near you that you would be interested in. Check reviews, go visit, and see if they have the resources you are looking for. They may even have that information on their website.

It seems that it would be the same anywhere - that some facilities have the resources for both, and some won't.

M1

Welcome to the forum. Have you discussed her current level of care with the facility where she is currently? A frank talk with the director there might give you an idea of whether she is still appropriate for assisted living or if you should really be looking at memory care.

There's an irony here, in that if you want to move her once, waiting until she needs memory care may make more sense, but closeness of family and friends may not matter so much at that stage. As she progresses, her world will progressively shrink, and the presence of others may not matter very much at all. However, her care needs may increase such that your proximity may matter more in the later stages—especially for episodes of illness, when you might need to accompany her to the hospital, for example. The thought of trying to manage such an episode long distance is daunting, and the chances of it happening are only going to increase as she progresses.

Wish there were an easy answer.

psg712

Is there a reason that she cannot be moved to a facility closer to you? A 2-hour round trip is going to get tiring quickly for you.

mtrollope

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts! I appreciate that. I've researched the area and narrowed down to a few. They are all about an hour a way. Seems that's the closest we can get, being in Canada. To move her any closer would require access to our health care system which would be trickier, I think. But an hour drive both ways, is a lot easier than a flight to Texas more and more often which is what I'm doing now. Tomorrow, I will be visiting Heathwood in Williamsville, Peregrine in Cheektowaga, and Wheatfield Commons in North Towanda. If anyone has experience to share with these facilities or others I should add to my list for a visit, please let me know. Thanks again for your thoughts!

M1

fwiw my drive is about 45 minutes each way. Right now and for the foreseeable future I do it daily. I don’t get much else accomplished. But hopefully you won’t have to do it daily, at least for a while. Hope it goes well.