Trying to make life altering decisions and. . .

ghphotog

Well meaning and good friends who are retired nurses and worked in most every field at the VA. I was talking about the hospice care and the meds the, well respected hospice doctor put her on. All I heard was how those drugs don't interact and make sure the hospice company isn't experimenting.

Why would they experiment? They've been in this business a long time and have seen everything.

Hard enough making these decisions without somebody putting all kinds of doubts in your head.

Jeanne C.

You know you're doing the right things for your dear wife. I agree: hospice doesn't "experiment." They may add a drug for comfort that perhaps you wouldn't want your pilot or driver taking, but if it's keeping her comfortable, where's the harm. Your friends mean well, but you're doing what you need to do.

ImMaggieMae

I wouldn’t think they would experiment, but there’s nothing wrong with questioning the benefits of the drugs she’s receiving.

harshedbuzz

With all due respect, that’s BS.

Have these individuals worked in either hospice care or with end -stage dementia patients? If not, it doesn’t sound as if they’re informed enough to have an opinion.

You can safely disregard their thoughts.

HB

M1

Agree with HB. Just don't discuss it with outside people even if they have a medical background. Everyone loves to stir the pot.

sandwichone123

Many people in healthcare are fully focused on the cure and have a lot of trouble wrapping their minds around quality of life rather than curing the disease. We know that we are not going to cure our loved ones, and that quality of life for them and their caregivers is the priority. People who work in healthcare also know that our loved ones with Alzheimers or other dementias aren't going to get better, but they don't know it the way we do. They may know it like getting the right answer on a test, but not in the "all the way to the bones" way that we know it's not going to get better and managing symptoms is king. Most of my friends that work in healthcare get the same "fine fine" answer everyone else does when they ask about my spouse.

Quilting brings calm

who cares if the drugs possibly interfere with each other at this point as long as they work. The goal is to make them comfortable in the short amount of time they have left. The interaction issues may be a rare event and hospice probably knows that. They know what to watch for in case changes are needed.

I feel the way way about antipsychotic medication black box warnings. Aggressive and agitated dementia patients are dangerous and if antipsychotic medications are needed, then they are needed. It’s riskier not to treat them than to treat them.

Karen711

…hard to protect yourself from “well meaning friends, doctors, etc”. I support you to trust the hospice doc and YOURSELF to judge how well any particular regimen is working for your DW. Hang in there, shake this off if you can, and know you are her very best and loving advocate 💕

ghphotog

It's strictly our decisions. We will always second guess and doubt ourselves many times.
"Did I put my spouse in the right place?", "Are they being taken care of or are they being abused somehow?"
"Did we put their well being at risk?", "Are we hastening thier demise", Watch out for this facility or that facility or this hospice company or that hospice company. Then it will probably watch out for this funeral home or that funeral home. . . . . . . . .and on it goes.
We make the best choices we possibly can, that's all we can do.