Medicaid Advice

Michelle9450

Hi, all, My father in law has dementia and lives alone. The evaluation from senior services said that he's not bad enough to qualify for a memory care or assisted living facility. We disagree. My husband is his power of attorney and in complete charge of the finances. My father in law views scammers as friends calling so he would happily give them everything. We have taken his car, forwarded his mail, disabled his oven, signed him up for respite care 5 days a weekand
problem solve whatever comes up each day. Three nights a week, we have a person that helps him with supper, laundry, bathing and we take the other nights. Our safety concern is that he wants to walk everywhere. He has already gotten lost in the apartment complex and a neighbor helped him get to the right apartment. We got a tracker for him but it is on his key chain and I don't think he's remembering to take his keys with. He's also started going through other tenant mailboxes and taking their mail. We tell him that he's not getting mail but of course he doesn't remember. Even with all of the additional help, he will call us several times a day...the TV doesn't work, it's Christmas- where is everyone, he wants a girlfriend because it's been awhile since he "got any"...the list goes on which by what I've read on these boards is very common. We are doing what we can to keep him living on his own but we feel that he is progressing and we are not being heard. He cannot live with us as we work long hours at jobs we love and can't give up. My husband's siblings live in different states and basically don't want to deal with any of this. Any advice on how we can express our concerns better with Inclusa, the company that is helping us navigate through this.

M1

Welcome to the forum. I'm curious what state you are in? Some state Medicaid programs cover assisted living and memory care, but many do not (my state included). They will only cover nursing home care, and to qualify for that you have to have skilled needs. It's a real problem. You may be essentially on your own in terms of funding care.

It does sound like he is not safe to live alone any longer. Have you consulted a certified elder law attorney, and is he in fact already qualified for Medicaid? You might try calling your local council on aging, too, and the Alzheimer's Association has a 24/7 hotline—1-800-272-3900. Ask to speak to a care consultant.

Michelle9450

We are in Wisconsin. He is currently getting some financial help from Medicaid. They pay for his respite care. We have talked about finding a different attorney that does know more about elder laws. Our current lawyer doesn't offer much other than to tell us to keep working with Inclusa which is a long term care support service. Inclusive has said that Medicaid will exhaust every effort to keep a person in their home because it costs so much to be in a care facility. I understand that and wish that my father in law would have money to pay for it himself, but he does not. I feel that we are trying to stay a step in front of my father in law, by trying to think of what his next issue will be but that's impossible and stressful. His landlord is also stressed as he is consistently stopping in the office and reporting problems. She then calls us and is irritated. I don't think she can evict him but she would if she could.

Michelle9450

I will also add that he is a happy guy so we are grateful that despite all of these challenges, he is not angry and is easy for us to work with.

Kat12345

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70243/medicaid-advice

There is a gps tracker insert for shoe sole. I have known others who have liked this. I used the tracker on smartphone; there are smart watches too. There are cheaper (small) gps tracking tabs.

https://metalert.shop

H1235

I’m wondering if you were present when they did the evaluation. Could you present them with a written statement from the landlord explaining how close he is to being kicked out of his apartment. Do they know about him getting lost and all your other concerns? I would make all the ways he needs help very clear to them. What about something written from his doctor. An elder law attorney may be the way to go. Hope you can figure something out. I’m glad he is pleasant and happy, that makes such a difference.

M1

Yes Michelle, my state is similar. Sounds like Inclusa has a waiver program to provide home care in order to keep him out of an institution. But you need to continue to tell them that you do not think he's safe to live alone, and be a broken record and squeaky wheel about it. I do think a skilled attorney would help. Look at nelf.org for ones in your area. I hope you're successful.