Request assistance n guidance

Kiran

My mom is a dementia patient and she is 79 years old. Your checklist on stages of dementia has been extremely helpful to me. 2 months back I got her back home from Australia ( she was staying with my brother for 1 year) and in 2 months there has been a rapid decline in her health. I believe she has declined fro. Stage 5 to stage 7.

Reason why I say is

1. Incontinence....she is on diapers n soils her clothes n bedding v frequently.

2. Since last 2 weeks....her sodium levels have fluctuating...as she gets diarrhea every 2nd or 3rd day....n her body is unable to retain the fluids in her body. Each time her sodium levels drop...its worse off and a new problem comes in.

3. She has lost her ability to stand up from. Her bed, walk to the bathroom or do any simple activity on her own.

4. She needs help for basic activities including eating nowadays

5. She has lost a lot of weight n muscle loss is v significant.

6. She speaks only few words...n at times ...we can't follow what she wanted to say. If we ask her any question, she does not answer....not even a yes or no.

I have kept a caregiver for the day to take care of her N i have shifted to her home since last 8 years...but evenings get bad. I am an office going person n our house is small, so keeping a caregiver at night as not feasible at this stage. I get exhausted taking care of her, My work, my family n daily chores. In India, hospice or dementia care centre's may not be very good n I am extremely apprehensive what to do.

Can you please tell me the following...

1. How long can the last stage I.e. stage 7 be?

2. How can I keep her comfortable...without taking her to washroom...I.e. changing her on bed is v difficult as she is non cooperative. She is not cooperative to go to washroom either n I fear she will fall

3. Any other techniques to keep her in good mood as she is always sad n depressed n sleeping most of the time.

Thanks

M1

hi kiran. Are you in the US? If so a hospice evaluation is in order and they can provide a lot of help. You don’t need a doctors order, you can call yourself for a consult.

SusanB-dil

Hi Kiran - Sorry, we never know how long a stage will last.

One thing that does come to mind for you though, is the night-time changes. A lot of folks put several 'layers' on the bed. So during the night, if there is an accident beyond the adult-underwear, you can just strip off a layer. So - put down a waterproof pad, then a bottom sheet, a waterproof pad, and another bottom sheet, a top sheet, then the blanket. We keep an extra blanket close in case the one on the bed gets wet or soiled. In the morning, can throw them all in the wash.

You are in India, but they do have a similar hospice program? You could at least try it.

Anonymousjpl123

Kiran it sounds like you are doing everything you can to make sure your mom is comfortable.

Other than finding out if there hospice care/any kind of support for late stage home caregivers, i would say that keeping the extra bed layers is key. She may feel like it is more comfortable to have the layers easily removed.

Not sure about mood stabilizers but i know just having people around can help.

Please let us know how things are going.

Kiran

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/219010#Comment_219010

Unfortunately not. I am in India and hospice is not so common here.

But yes inquiring for more like dementia care centers

Kiran

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/219060#Comment_219060

Thank you so much for your feedback. Have kept 3 layers on her bed...n each time she soils it....I put all 3 layers for washing.

It just gets so tiring n irritating at times....but yet I keep patience as there is nothing more which can be done