Denial

Paul97078

My elder with Alzheimer’s has no short term memory at all. Before Alzheimer’s she’d deny any problem like this anyway. Is it even worth the bother trying to get her to understand?
Thanks!

M1

Welcome to the forum, you have come to a good place to learn and get support.. Yours is a common first question. She's not in denial, she has anosognosia, a common feature of dementia that prevents her from even being able to perceive her deficits. So no, it is not worth trying to get her to understand: her reasoner is broken.

If you look to the right under Quick Links and Groups, there is one for new caregivers that has a lot of useful information, including a staging tool and a link to a short pamphlet called Understanding the dementia experience. It's very useful for getting started.

H1235

Welcome. No, there is no point in explaining or trying to reason with a person with dementia. I have found anosognosia to be one of the most difficult symptoms to deal with. In many cases trying to reason with a person with dementia( about anything) is just going to make them upset and probably you too. You will always be wrong. It’s hard. Good luck.

SusanB-dil

Hi Paul - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

What's been posted is so correct! Anosognosia is not denial. It is the firm belief that nothing is wrong.

Rule #1 - Do not argue with a PWD. Rule #1 - Take care of yourself. Rule #2 - see rule #1, both of them.

michiganpat

Hi Paul. You've come to a good place for answers. My husband has dementia and I have learned over time it does no good to try to reason with him. He will just get upset and explain to me in a hundred different ways why I am wrong. So now I just let him say whatever he wants (it's not always easy) and keep quiet. When he gets into one of his rants about politics I have music playing in the background and tune him out in my mind. He doesn't even realize I'm not listening. A nod here and there and an occasional utterance of "I agree" is all I need to do to keep him happy. It really does work.

dancsfo

You can try to distract or change the topic that is being denied.

You can just "agree" with something inconsequential, such as "it's Wednesday". It's harder to "agree" with something like "it's salt you're trying to put into coffee".

So you can try to "live in their world" as much as you can, but when you can't do that, try to change the topic or perhaps try to avoid it from happening in the first place (which may be hard to do)

Iris L.

Read about anosognosia. This will explain everything.

Iris