My 74 yo husband is my caregiver

sunsetsue

My mother died from Alzheimers about 5 years ago. Knowing that can be inherited, I got a world class neurologist and had a spinal tap to see if I had the gene. I did. I am now 3 or 4 years into this and am taking a drug that I inhale called Prevagen. It seems to be working but I’m still having some emotional ups and downs and slight forgetfulness. Particularly short term memory. It’s driving my husband of 55 years crazy& I feel so badly for what my condition is doing to him. I joined the senior center today so I can take classes and they have a van that will pick me up and take me home. but when I’m home all day, hubby gets frustrated with my memory lapses. We live in a 3 story condo and he spends most of his day on the 3rd floor and me on the 1st so that helps. Does anyone have any helpful suggestions? He is involved in coaching those who are directors of nonprofit organizations but it’s on the phone and sometimes at their place of work but seldom. Other than that he only goes out for lunch with his sister. I’d like him to attend some regular caregiver sessions. How should I approach him for that?

SDianeL

I would ask him to read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which was recommended by a nurse. It really helped me care for my husband. There are many videos online. I would ask him to read the book and watch the videos to help him help you. Please keep us posted.

Quilting brings calm

The memory clinic at our hospital often has caregiver seminars. Have your spouse check into that.

It might be a good idea to contact your primary care doctor or that neurologist to see if they would recommend a different memory medication than Prevergen. Donepizel tablets or an Exelon ( rivastegmine) patch. Those are expected to work better.

The senior center classes will give you an outlet and give him some free time. Encourage him to create his own account here.
You might find you benefit from the ‘living with dementia’ forum too as people there might have suggestions for you to try to help him help you.

elainechem

I'm so sorry that you're both going through this. I would recommend that he attend in-person support group meetings in your location. Where I live, they even have a group for people who are living with dementia. It's called the Memory Cafe.

Iris L.

Welcome Sue! I'm sorry your DH is not supportive. But you are taking the initiative to help yourself, that's great. You can post on any board, as you have done here today, but feel free to post on the "Living with Dementia" board also. I agree with getting Aricept or Exelon patch; Exelon patch is working for me.

Iris

Nowhere

I’m sorry this disease is on your path, Sunsetsue. I do need to commend you for your remarkable proactive attitude. Your husband is lucky 🍀 to have you to care for, and I say this in earnest. You show in this post caring and empathy in return for him, whereas many with this disease don’t, can’t, or won’t. I hope your husband is a member of this site moving forward so that he, too, can feel supported as he provides support for you. You’ve come to an understanding, experienced, educated, and practical group in its knowledge of degenerative brain disease in a world that often isn’t. You’re amazing!

Denise1847

Dear Sunsetsue,

Wow, you are amazing at how you are taking the initiative and being proactive. I suspect that your DH is both in denial and avoid the reality that you have been stricken with this disease. He doesn't know what to do, he is scared of the future and he is mourning the life he expected to have with you. Maybe counseling for both of you together may help. I am so very sorry. You are very brave.

jfkoc

While Prevagen is probably not harmful is it also probably not helpful either;

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/fda-curbs-unfounded-memory-supplement-claims-2019053116772

I suggest you go to the main Alzheimers web site and read everything. Please get all financial and legal matters taken care of by a certified elder care attorney and talk to your PCP about diagnosis following proper protocol.

"Less than 5%

 of Alzheimer's disease (AD) is caused by a single genetic mutation that is transmitted through families. In these families, people usually show symptoms well before the age of 65 and symptoms sometimes begin as early as the 30s or 40s."

That said, being proactive is being prepared!