Mom new to nursing home

lisab413

Hello, I’m new here. My mom, who is about to turn 85, was just recently moved into nursing home as a short-term rehab patient but will transition to long term due to dementia. I’m looking for guidance how to speak to her as she keeps asking when is she going home. She has an iPad to communicate and I am getting upsetting messages constantly as I am the only daughter. I just don’t know how to answer her. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

harshedbuzz

@lisab413

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

In your shoes, I would tell her the doctor wants her to "stay in rehab" a bit longer. Rinse and repeat. If the iPad is a source of upset for you, it's OK to make it disappear by whatever means necessary. If she has WiFi, I would shut that down asap.

HB

M1

welcome to the forum and agree. It is not safe for her to have internet access, you can find other ways to communicate. The staff will let you know if there is anything wrong. Sorry it's so difficult.

Anonymousjpl123

it was so hard, but in memory care i had to disappear my mom’s phone.

It was so hard because of course i wanted her to stay connected, but it no longer seemed a source of connection or anything good. It caused endless stress for her, and everyone else, especially me. I was also very worried about scammers. Dont feel bad about the ipad. Within a few days my mom forgot about her phone entirely.

I ageee with harshed buzz and m1. Just keep focusing on her getting care, and tje doctor’s recommendation.

In these situations, the key is finding a way to reassure your LO. There may be no way, but that’s the goal. Im so sorry you are going through this. There is really nothinf else like it. I have found a lot of support and wisdom on this forum. I hope you will too.

lisab413

Thank you so much! I was just thinking I need to block her messages at least until she adjusts.