Mixing up names.

concerned_sister

For sake of discussion, we'll call youngest brother John and me Betty.

DB's wife's car wouldn't start this morning, so she took his truck. When texting trying to explain this he first told me John had the truck. Between a followup call to him and younger brother I got the facts sorted out.

Just a bit ago he texts with follow-up information, but it's somewhat garbled so I call. Among other things he tells me after leaving work "John and Betty" are going to try to start the car then call AAA as needed.

In all his name mix ups I've never before heard him mix up someone else's name (mine) for his own. How common is this?

M1

very. My partner can’t remember anyone’s name any more, including mine. She knows me only by sight. Losing names started in stage 3 or 4

concerned_sister

Including her own? That threw me. Yes, he has maybe 10 of us he has frequent contact with and our names are interchangable.

harshedbuzz

@concerned_sister

Name mix-ups are a "thing" in dementia, IME, especially when flustered.

My dad who was verbal to the point of being conversational when he died, sometimes confused names but just as often, he couldn't recall who had done what when recounting a story. It's possible your DB forgot the details and later assumed John took the truck; I think you once mentioned SIL prefers not to drive it, so he may have a conflated memory where John took it because it's more logical. Dad also lost words— primarily nouns but was adept at codeswitching vocabulary— switching "Jailed" for "incarceration for example.

I actually have eyes on my own mom as I find her mixing names up a lot when she never really did before. Most often, she crosses my sister and my names for my nieces; she consistently calls the older one by my name and the other by my late sister's name which maintains both birth order and general personality but only when relating a story which is weird. She also uses pronouns to a degree that I have to ask for clarification routinely— "she who?". She seems to be losing nouns which results in the use of "thing" or a description of what she's trying to say— last week she asked for "kitchen paper" aka paper towels.

Mom also misgenders her cat constantly when talking about "him" but sweet talks her calling her a "sweet girl". FTR, she is neither a "him" nor sweet.

HB

H1235

My mom refers to my brother as your dad all the time(passed away 10 years ago). If I correct her she will say oh I know that. I don’t think she is really mistaking him for my dad I think it’s just confusion about how to refer to my brother when talking to me. It’s hard to make sense of.

So maybe it’s more of a word finding vs not knowing who someone is.

dancsfo

However, visual recognition seems to stay intact a bit longer. Thus a PWD can still sift through an old photo album and recognize people or events. At a later stage, even that may fail.

So maybe you can keep a notebook with photos of people's faces pasted in it (along with a written name) and a PWD can point to those? I guess that's like a memory box at memory care facilities.

I wouldn't use anything computer based, like a photo album on a phone. It'd be too difficult for most PWDs to use on their own. I suppose a caretakers can operate a computer or phone, as an alternative.

lenbury

My wife calls her older sister her aunt. For a while I corrected her but after a while I realized it was trivial and just let it go.

SusanB-dil

my mom refers to me as her sister. "Hi Trudy!" me: 'oh, hi, are you having a good day?'

I figure with family resemblance, she sees me as her younger sister was from years ago. MIL has no idea who I am and will sometimes ask DH about who is 'that girl'.

harshedbuzz

@SusanB-dil said:

my mom refers to me as her sister. "Hi Trudy!" me: 'oh, hi, are you having a good day?'

I figure with family resemblance, she sees me as her younger sister was from years ago.

My auntie routinely confused me for my mom who was her younger sister— even with my mom standing there. We do look and sound very alike.

MIL has no idea who I am and will sometimes ask DH about who is 'that girl'.

My late-stage dad used to refer to my DH of 30+ years as "that guy Harshed is shacking up with".

SDianeL

very common. The thing that got me to have my DH tested. He forgot my children’s (his step children) names and their relationship to each other. They live in 2 different states. I called his PCP the same day.