Driving

CJ56

New here - struggling with making decisions.
Mom is 89. I've been noticing cognitive decline since 2022. Just got official diagnosis on Friday through an MMSE test. She scored 26/30 last year and 21/30 this year which seems like a fast decline. She is still driving and I am struggling on whether it's time to pull the keys or not. Small town and she only drives to church and grocery for the most part. How do you know when it's time?

M1

Welcome to the forum. Like with many such questions, if you're asking, it's time. A small town makes no difference, she could hit a child leaving her own driveway.

dancsfo

Even if there is little cognitive decline, there may be a decline in reaction time, vision and other aspects of driving ability. Perhaps you can get a driving instructor to make an assessment (maybe you need to go to a bigger town) which allows you to blame someone else to recommend taking away the key.

Also, take a look at the car for dents, etc. I've seen an elderly driver get into a car full of dents, and then the driver proceeded to scrape the car on the entrance of her own garage. I don't think she even noticed the damage that was just made, and just continued to drive. As @M1 wrote, what if it's a child? It can be a hit and run.

H1235

Can you send a note to the doctor asking for his/her opinion on driving. In my opinion you don’t want to take the keys away when it’s not safe for her to drive, but before it’s not safe. Would you feel comfortable with her driving down a road where your kid/grandkids play in the front yard? If you are questioning it, it time.

Lynn24

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70345/driving

My mother is 79 and is in last stages of dementia. I took her car keys away from her when my family members that lived near her, noticed behaviors such as driving to church on the wrong day, and leaving to drive to the hair salon a few hours early, even though the salon is only 10 minutes away from her home. She also became confused while driving to find a friends home that was 30 minutes away; however it took a few hours for her to find her way back home.

CJ56

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220240#Comment_220240

Yes, I am managing her finances - slowly taken over the last year. I found out in early 2023 that she was sending money to any and every charity and it was draining her. I wasn't aware that donations can impact qualifying for Medicaid. We have recently closed out accounts and moved some monies but I'm guessing it will be too late to protect it from Medicaid.

She wears the same clothing over and over again (I'm ready to burn the green shirt…).

CJ56

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220370#Comment_220370

Yes, my mother has been driving to church on the wrong days - going to hair appointments on the wrong days/times etc. She can get there and back just fine (I have a tracker on her phone) but she goes at the wrong day/time.

CJ56

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220304#Comment_220304

Yes. I did send a note to doc - he did MMSE and he actually did not say that she shouldn't be driving. I was surprised.

Victoriaredux

But why aren't you stopping her driving? If she can't keep track of a non-stress thing like what day is it — how can she mentally take in and progress all the things that happen when driving?

Even if she "only" totals someone else's car— with new car prices and insurance that could be the financial ruin of the car's owner - if they need it to go to work, school, take their kids to daycare.

I hope you wouldn't let someone three sheets to the wind drive home from a party - well her brain isn't functioning properly all the time . You don't need to ask what she drank :).

Please be proactive.

ls720

Thank you for asking this. I have been struggling with this myself. My father is 81, and he has had a marked decline with frequent delusions in the last 9 months. Both of his older sisters have been managing it for years and are is assisted living facilities. Today I woke up and checked Life 360 to find my dad had driven to the next state over and into the city. It was terrifying! I think it is time to take the car but all of the family is not on the same page. My brother thinks it is safer with him driving because he knows his way around rather than him roaming on foot, and his girlfriend says at least he is a safe driver. I need them on board, because last time time gave him his keys back within 2 hours.

H1235

Before mom saw the neurologist and they said no driving period, the pcp planned to send mom to a place that would test her driving abilities. They sent in a referral order just like they might for physical therapy. It’s my understanding that the evaluation is all in simulators and is quite through. We ended up canceling the appointment since the neurologist said there was no question she shouldn’t drive. Maybe there is something like this near you.

Mona D

Thanks for asking your question. I'm in the same do I/don't I situation. I've seen some questionable driving when mom leaves my home. The comments have landed. It's not even a question now. Wishing you the best.

CJ56

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/221614#Comment_221614

Thank you. Wishing you the best as well.

CJ56

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/221564#Comment_221564

I'm sorry you are navigating this as well. It is difficult especially if you don't have everyone on the same page.