LO who lives alone and refuses help

Christine0202

Christine0202

MY SIL lives alone and has anosognosmia. She refuses assistance and doesn't think she needs help. We don't know what to do to help her. She can be belligerent and stubborn. She is diabetic and not taking insulin properly, and is also visually impaired. What can we do when she isn't cooperative? My husband and I have DPOA and have been taking care of some finances, accompanying her to doctor appointments (we had to remove car). She put the brakes on during ALZ testing so we don't have full diagnosis. Dr. says he got enough to determine ALZ is cause of dementia, but can't provide written documentation. We are at a loss as to what we can do. There is no other family left to help her.

M1

Welcome to the forum. Good that you have power of attorney. Sadly, you are probably going to have to force changes against her will, this is quite common. Can she afford to private pay for memory care? If so, you find a facility and place her, using some excuse like house repairs, sewer/gas leak, etc. If her finances won't allow this, then you consult a certified elder law attorney about getting her qualified for long-term Medicaid. That's the first step. But you have to step in, don't expect her to cooperate.

H1235

The big question is if the DPOA needs to be activated. If not then you move forward what needs to be done without consulting her or trying to get her to buy into it. I’m guessing taking the car did not go well. Treat it the same way(or learn from any mistakes you think you may have made). As far as how do you physically get her to the facility, start with lunch then bring her to the facility. Tell her there are problems where she is living, (closing the apartment complex, need to treat for termites…) As far as moving her things with just you and your husband, that’s tough. Could she attend a respite day activity center. It would only have to be just the one time while you move her. Is there someone you trust you could pay to take her for the day. Maybe you could find a furnished facility. She is going to be mad, but there is probably no way around that. Keep in mind there can be a waiting list at some places. Good luck.

SDianeL

I got my husband to go to a neurologist by having his PCP refer him. I didn’t tell him what for. Just a doctor. When the neurologist prescribed medication I just told him it was to help his brain. I never mentioned Dementia to him. Fib if you must.